You are allowed to enjoy this…

My Queen 40th Anniversary boxset arrived today containing the first five albums remastered and generally jiggery-pokered, with extra space in the box to hold the remaining releases. Fiddle-it! I’m going to have to buy them all now.

A very quick spin of the first two discs reveals that the new releases are very spiffy indeed. I cannot wait for the kids to be asleep and for me to have a good old listen to this collection. Of course, I’ll post my thoughts.

Verity enjoying "Mad the Swine" - included as an extra on the remastered debut "Queen" album.

Today, me and Verity made a “Lemon Drizzle Cake”. Of course, I did all the hard work whilst madam spread the butter fondant between the two halves of the cake and helped me drizzle lemon icing over the top of the finished cake.

Very tasty, very tasty indeed!

The last election and the state of this Lib-Con or Con-Dem Government-that-nobody-voted-for has left me feeling rather apathetic towards politics in general. “What’s the bleeding point?” one might rail against the latest stuffed suits making dodgy deals in the so-called houses of democracy, “They are all the same…”

It’s never been more true. No matter who you vote for the Government always gets in, and the left is the right and the right is the left and the middle will crawl up the rectum of who ever holds the steering wheel of power just to get a sniff of what it might be like to actually be a viable political party.

However, there’s this referendum coming up about the “AV” or “Alternative Vote” system and so I will duly register to elect (I was seriously thinking of never ever voting again) to have my say – and I encourage you all to join me. Now, I’m not going to be like the pro-AV website and try and force you into my way of thinking. I’m just going to state my case and let you come to your own conclusion. I don’t care if you vote for or against the AV system – the fact is you have to vote. Sitting this one out could land us in a heap of old balls in the future.

Now I am voting against AV. Yes, I know that in a multi-party system AV is supposedly the fairest system, but I am not actually interested in multi-party politics. To me, there is only the left and right and those in-between are a waste of time. The Liberal Democrats have proved that by being such a mealy-mouthed bunch of yellow turncoat wankers, a party that can spin on a dime faster and with more aplomb than Michael Jackson in his hey-day.

For me, there is only two-party politics and I believe we should retain the system we currently have and keep the multi-party political model purely for local elections. Local politics is more fragmented and smaller parties tend to represent local issues at a council level, but when the real elections come around, those fringe parties are dumped for the big hitters, QED multi-party politics doesn’t work when it comes to electing representatives in the House of Commons.

OK – some of you will whine about choice and change and fairness and bleat on about this, that and the other. I don’t particularly want to vote for a second choice. If the AV system is implemented, then at every election I will have to go into the polling booth and wrestle with my conscience over my second choice. Do I choose a fringe party to even up the balance, or vote the polar opposite to what I believe in the interest of “fairness”. If that was the case, I’d end up having to vote BNP.

No, the AV system is championed by those who want to see the middle way prevail. The wretched Liberal Democrats for a start desperately want this system in place because they think it will save them after their coalition with the Conservatives turned out to be the worst PR exercise ever. And also, the Labour party seem to think it would be a good idea too. Perhaps they think that instead of working hard with the electorate and earning the vote, they can sneak some second choice options back from Conservative and Lib-Dem voters?

Well another reason I don’t want AV implemented is because I want the Liberal Democrat party to be destroyed at the next election. They are the worst party of all when it comes to being two-faced and disingenuous and their conduct needs to be punished. “But it is the first past the post system that’s caused this coalition,” the pro-AV point out. True, but Cameron could have called a minority Government and then another election after six months. It is Cameron and Clegg who are the architects of this coalition, not our voting system.

There’s been a lot written about the outcome of AV and how it will change the political landscape, but the enduring image I have in my head is that of the 70s kid’s TV show “Runaround” . In that show, the children had to stand on a highlighted spot that was their answer to a particular question of the day and in the last moments of the clock ticking down, they were given the choice to “Runaround” and change their decision. Kids would check out their peers, desperately trying to gauge if they were correct before flip-flopping to an alternative answer, throwing themselves around to hit the right spot before the timer ran out.

This is how I see the AV system. It’s a bit of a “Runaround”. If I am so sure that the party I want to vote is my first choice, why would I even need a second choice? It’s like going to a restaurant and this happening:

You: I’d like to order, please.
Waiter: Sure.
You: I’d like the steak, medium-rare…
Waiter: And for your second choice…
You: Erm…The fish???

It wouldn’t happen. The same way you wouldn’t bet on two horses in the same race – it goes against the principal of free choice and sportsmanship. And let’s face it, our political system is just like a horse race – it’s first past the post. And I guess I am a traditionalist, believing in one vote and one true winner. My working-class socialist roots make it hard for me to turn my back on the concept of one-man, one-vote. One man, two votes just doesn’t have the same ring about it.

“But only a third of voters voted for the last Labour government!” And AV is going change that? What you mean to say is that despite only a third of the electorate voting for them, the right government got elected thanks to our first past the post system. The problem with that opening statement is not a reflection on our voting system, but one of how to encourage the electorate to go out and vote. I do not believe AV will inspire people to suddenly vote. If the public can’t vote for one party, they sure as hell aren’t going to bother with a second choice. Instead, the government, or those who want a fairer voting system needs to address the issue of voter apathy.

Of course, I’d turn it into an X-Factor style contest (it worked well with the political debates last year) with a phone and text vote by the public, the proceeds of which go towards funding the NHS. It’s a win-win situation. But even with the X-Factor or whatever reality TV show you choose, no-one ever makes a crafty second vote for their alternative winner. But I’ve laboured the point with that.

But that’s my argument – to me it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to have this AV system. I don’t believe in it and it is my belief that if you have any political leaning whatsoever and you care passionately about your politics it is an affront, even an insult, to ask you for a second choice. It’s like we aren’t fit enough to get it right the first time? “Are you sure you want trifle for pudding, dear?” I get the feeling we are being treated like weak-minded fools over this.

I’ve had a taste of this system before with the Mayoral Elections – and the first time it was easy for me because I voted for Ken who was independent at the time and the Labour candidate. We also get this type of system for Euro-elections but that doesn’t count because no-one really cares what happens in Brussels, such is its Kafka-esque and labyrithine nature, its machinations are unfathomable to most. So we duly tick the boxes and hope it doesn’t cost the UK too much money.

And of course, if this referendum was really fair it would actually adopt a AV system so we would have the following choices on our betting slip, I mean voting card…

First Past the Post
Proportional Representation
Alternative Vote

But seeing as we don’t have that choice, the whole referendum doesn’t seem that fair. 😛

That’s my tuppennyworth, I don’t want an argument about my decision, I am just making my case. What I would like all of you who read this, in agreement or otherwise, is to encourage your friends and family to actually go and vote. And if this piece makes you go “What a bloody idiot, I’ll have to teach him a lesson and get AV instated” then I have achieved my aim.

Huzzah!

After leaving the theatre last night, I nearly walked straight into veteran rocker and stalwart of the Rolling Stones, Ronnie Wood complete with dolly on his arm and some foreign giant trying to hail him a cab. He’s really small in real life and resembles something from the Henson Creature Workshop circa their “Dark Crystal” period. I think he was coming out of the Marquis of Gramby.

He is more nose than man…

Creature From Dark Crystal

Ronnie Wood