Today, The Missus attended court to deal with the matter of Hubble V Lock. Last year, The Missus had a car accident in which she caused £10 of damage to her own car (a broken number plate) but the 76 year old victim wanted £5000 in compensation. The insurers wasn’t having any of it and so it was up to a magistrate to decide the compensation claim. She got £1550 to cover her minor injuries and the £650 damage to her car. (We now call The Missus’ car “The Hubble Crusher” because of the damage it causes to little old ladies in 5mph impacts).
After walking Alex the Wonderdog, the doorbell rang and a very scruffy looking oik flashed his police ID badge at me. It seems that our next-door neighbour, an elderly lady called Gwen, had been robbed at about 1.30pm. Had I seen anything? No, I hadn’t. Now, Alex might have his faults but he barks whenever he sees anyone going down the neighbour’s path – he does this while sitting regally on the sofa. He had barked at 1.30pm but by the time I had gone to the window to see, I only saw the meals-on-wheels people going in. Apparently, it all happened near enough on top of each other.
The plain clothes policeman asked if I had seen anything suspicious recently. I told him that on Monday afternoon (13th Feb 2006), an Irish fellow came to the door trying to sell me some furniture. He was a shifty looking bugger and I made a point of really giving him a good look. He was late forties, grey hair, wearing a blue sleeveless body warmer and possible blue jeans. He was stocky and about 5’6″ to 5’8″. He went to Gwen’s after knocking at ours. The people that had robbed Gwen’s had been working in a pair – one distracted while the other robbed. It happens a lot around here, mainly because there is a big elderly contingent. We’ve warned her, but they never listen. Because no-one had knocked here and no-one else was targetted, it seems that these bastards knew who they were looking for. Give them 5 minutes with me and a clawhammer and I promise that they’ll never do it again…
Anyway, you are probably wondering why I am writing all this. It’s purely for a memory aid, just in case I need to ID this scumbag in future.
Now something to lighten the tone. Alex has a new trick. Whenever I am sitting cross-legged on the floor (I do this a lot because despite my near-35 years of age, I can still cross my legs and do the lotus position), he now plonks himself on my lap. This next picture gives you an idea of scale too. Either he is really big or I am really tiny…YOU DECIDE!

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