Got a big letter from Ernst & Young about the collapse of Highbury House. As a creditor, I get all this bumf – like I am interested. I am only interested in getting my money. It was too early in the morning for my sleep-addled brain to read all this stuff, so the Missus read it on my behalf.
“You’re fucked,” she said delivering her summation with a succinctness I appreciate over my cornflakes.
Oh well, if by some fluke of luck I do get the money owed to me, I’ll buy my loyal reader a drink.
Today, I also got a letter from my bank with a invalid cheque in it. This was from one of my many eBay sales and this is the first time I’ve ever had a cheque returned. The reason? I don’t know. The jargon was BankspeakTM and it just said “Refer to Drawer”. What? I, the drawer, says that this cheque is fine. Cash it, you swines. Well I’ve already sent the CDs off to the chap who paid with this cheque and I am hoping that he is filled with the milk of human kindness and will issue another, more valid cheque. The funny thing is that when I looked at the cheque originally, I remarked to The Missus that I thought we’d have trouble with it. I think it was because this guy’s handwriting seemed to be of that of a three-year-old. It should have been in multi-coloured crayon to top the effect. Oh well, easy fucking come, easy fucking go? No?
There’s no money for you
Re your cheque, Darren. Once again my friend, you are fucked. The turd with the squiggly writing is the drawer. “Refer to Drawer” is the way the bank says “Bugger off, this is nowt to do with us”.
They are probably about to repossess his home/burn his home for the insurance cover (if he hasn’t done so already)/sell his wife & children into slavery (if he… oh, you know!)[delete any as appropriate].
Short of going round his place (bear in mind it might already be burnt to the ground) for retribution, the best you can do is give him shitty feedback and hope he has a conscience.
On the bright side, take solace in the fact that you are brighter than he and you haven’t sold the missus to those slavetraders (you haven’t, have you?)
Best
Yorkie
Oh well, I guess I’ll return it to the conniving sod. I’ve emailed him but, surprise surprise, he ain’t responding. I do have his phone number though – so maybe some crank calls at three in the morning are in order.
But it was for only £20, but that’s not the point. And as for the eBay feedback, I already gave him good feedback. D’oh! To me, a cheque is almost as good as cash, but not anymore.
And no, The Missus is still in my possession. 😉