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Pissing in the Wind

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill comments yesterday: “Sorry for not posting what you want me to post, I shall stick to making videos of myself playing guitar…”
Now I feel the need to explain why I make videos of myself playing guitar. It is because music is all I’ve got. Yes, I really am that shallow. My guitar and my music brings me joy. And I hope that maybe some people who visit this site might see the videos or listen to the tunes and say: “Hey, I kinda like that”. I might be pissing in the wind, but at least I know I am pissing in the wind. Commenting on world politics over which I have no control is a an exercise in futility. I’d rather keep an eye on local politics, on the events that actually shape and affect my world – that’s why I rail against the BNP becoming local councillors and HG doesn’t. Call me selfish, but I know that even after I am worm food that the Arabs and the Jews will still be killing each other, Mr HG. Life is just too damn short for me to worry or care about it. Also, I recently wrote a guide about putting video onto the web for a consumer computing magazine to which I regularly contribute and so I guess I got a little bit inspired by my own advice. Here’s the article here – you can see my Ashbory Bass clip in the bottom panel.
On a seperate and more joyful note, I am pleased to announce a second batch of baby mollies in the fishtank. This time they are gold and black mottled mollies. They are still small, but I managed to capture some video footage of them swimming around. They are the orange specks moving in the background.


Direct download: CLICK HERE

At the beginning of the year I made a promise to myself and The Missus that I would somehow pay-off our combined credit card debt. Now I wouldn’t say that we are heavy abusers of the plastic, but we had a certain amount shuffled around on those zero-percent interest cards for a while. We are good zero-interest whores and moved our debt around when the going got tough. We realised that this amount had been with us since our wedding way back in 1998 and was just there, hanging over us. It was an average amount of credit card debt, but I knew something had to be done. And so I sold off various nick-nacks and CDs and whatever and after much effort and belt-tightening the final cheque for ÂŁ1200 heads off to Capital One. We are now debt free (with the exception of the mortgage, naturally).
Of course, things never go to plan and this week I noticed that Soundslive (a rather excellent online music shop) had a number of Boss RC-50 Loop Stations in stock. Now these doo-hickeys are as rare as rocking horse shit in the UK and so I purchased one. Don’t worry, most of my music gear I pay for by selling off other instruments. It’s survival of the fittest here for the gear at Studio Lock and I am selling my old RC-20XL and some other stuff to cover the amount. The pedalboard arrived on Wednesday, but it was too hot in Studio Lock to have a fiddle, instead I waited until we had a thunderstorm and the cooler weather to arrive.
The RC-50 is a great bit of kit – it allows me to loop in stereo (at last) and its sound playback is superb. You can also record three different loops and let them organically run alongside each other. Anyway, I made my first attempt at a recording today and it isn’t like my usual looped material. Enjoy!


Direct download: CLICK HERE

Too Hot – Went Stiff

Well it managed to hit 33 degrees C in Studio Lock yesterday. I took refuge downstairs and did very little. Even at midnight, the temperature of the top part of the house was 30 degrees C, so we threw the quilt off the bed and slept with a thin sheet. During the night, the weather cooled and I awoke with a stiff neck. Oh well, that’s what I get for sleeping in a draught. You have been warned…

The Clock Keeps Ticking…Again

So you look backwards to go forwards. One of my own favourite lyrics was a for a song I recorded fourteen years ago when I started messing around with a 4-track recorder. In those days, I wasn’t much of a player and it was more about getting ideas down onto tape than anything else. However, I did used to enjoy scribbling lyrics and coming up with these little songs. OK – they weren’t very good. I know that, but it was my hobby and I was learning my instrument. Some may say that what I do at the moment isn’t very good either, but again, it is more about impressing myself than impressing you. Like all of my creative endeavours, I do it for me and no one else.
So the lyric is written and I really like the spirit of the original recording and when I decided that I was to put together a vocal CD for my new set, I knew I wanted to have another crack at this song. I’d been putting it off for many years mainly because I have a poor memory for my own tunes and once they are recorded I often forget how to play them – because I am not a professional player with no need to remember these follies. But with this tune I had to crack it. For the first time, I actually put down the drums and sang a guide vocal so I knew where to put the rest of the instruments. Then the bass and guitar went on next and then the lead instruments. I’d never recorded like this before and was surprised that it worked. Anyway, here is an early mix of the track for your delectation and below that are the lyrics so you can sing along. There is a deep meaning to it and is supposed to examine the omnipotent idea of maleness and one man being able to experience the feelings of all men, but I don’t know if that comes across. Ooooh, to be 21 again and be totally pretentious. 🙂


Direct download: CLICK HERE
The Clock Keeps Ticking
And I sit on the bench and watch the cars go past
And the drivers watching me watching them
And life seems so simple and clear cut
Like a door – open and shut
I try to hide it
I try to hide it well
No one can see it
Only time will tell
I feel so dark
I feel so dirty
I feel so out of my head
I feel I want to hurt you
In the dark
It’s so nice to be in the dark
No one can see my thoughts
Or wonder what I do
Or wonder what I want
And you try to push me away
Here come the words I have given you to say
I try but it never goes away
It swells and rises
And it makes me afraid
You can never predict what shape I’ll take
What form I’ll denigrate
Sometimes I can be so charming
Sometimes I can be a shit
So don’t push me
I said don’t push me
And I get so excited when I smack you to the ground
I get so excited when you’re lying on the ground
I can’t believe this love I’ve found
I’ll pick you up, only to knock you down
Resist me, oh resist me
It’s fun to watch you try
You missed me, oh you missed me
If you want, I’ll make you cry
After the tears
After the bruises
We patch it all up
You’re one of life’s losers
This feeling that comes over me
These waves of violent pleasure
Makes life much more exhilarating
I bet I can’t get you to hate me
After the blood slows down
When the drums stop beating
I feel so ashamed
I just can’t explain
I have all these words
A rich vocabulary
But I just can’t tell you how I feel
In the street at the violet hour
I can see all the paths laid out before me
In the street when the sun goes down
I can see all of time before me
It is everywhere and I want it
You try and stop it, but you can’t get it
And there’s nothing you can do about it
I want them to look at me
I want them to take notice
I want them to myself
I want to show them
In the alleyways
In the park
With my knife in my pocket
My hand on my mask
And the clock starts ticking
The impulses rise behind my eyes
The monotone noise of everybody else’s life
It gets me down
Oh it gets me down
They say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence
Do you dare, oh do you dare
Stray from the track?
To find it covered by tarmac
And you feel the stickiness on your skin
Wipe it away, wipe it away
And you don’t know where it’s been
And you don’t know what’s lurking within
There’s no regrets, no regrets
Till they find their skin drying out
Waking up with the night sweats
Still no regrets
Still no regrets?
And you watch the last chance of a lifetime
Slip between your fingers
The grains of sand from the broken hourglass of your life
Slip away, slip away, slip away
It’s so great to be so fucking normal
The sun rises and the sun sets
The moon comes out
They never forget
And I’m still here
Just sitting on my bench
The cars still going past
And I know these things will always last
And the monotony of living
Is an excuse to carry on?
Why else should I keep breathing?
Why else should I keep thinking?
Why else should I keep dreaming?
Why else does the clock keep ticking?

The Inevitability

For those of you who are regular readers of this, you might remember me blathering on about my dog Alex being attacked by a mastiff in March. Well I’ve been keeping a regular log of other attacks caused by the dog involved in our attack and last night my mother told me of yet another. One of her customers told her that she was attacked by the dog the previous evening as she walked with her partner. They are friends with Mr G, the owner, and have two greyhounds themselves. They were walking these dogs when they saw Mr G with the mastiff. She went over to say hello and the dog reared up and lunged for her, ripping her cardigan. Luckily, she wasn’t bitten, but she said that was only down to her own quick reflexes. As you can imagine, she is pretty annoyed and fears for her own child when he walks the greyhound. She says she will contact the RPSCA, but what will that achieve?
Now I’ve been saying this from the beginning that it was only a matter of time before the dog attacked a person and with the summer season well and truly upon us, I often see small kids taking the family dog for a walk on the green spaces in the area. My deepest fear is that this mastiff will attack and kill one of these dogs (because a child will not know how to react) or even worse attack a child. If this was an Alsation or a Staff, I wouldn’t be so concerned, but because this dog is huge and could easily kill a grown man, I keep writing about it – it’s all I can do. My report to the RSPCA got a zero result – did he muzzle his dog, does he keep it in control? No – nothing happened. While we have a Dangerous Dogs Act, what we really need is a Dangerous Dog Owners Act.
No, I fear that my next report about this idiot will be of the fatal kind. I have my fingers crossed while typing this, but I can see the stupid inevitability of it all…

How!

If you are like me and are of the same generational and cultural stock, you might remember programmes such as How! or Play-Away that would show little films of how lightbulbs are made or how they put toothpaste into the tubes. I used to find all that kind of stuff fascinating and while perusing YouTube I found a little film that tickled that particular itch. Currently, I am playing a Godin xtSA guitar and it is probably the best made guitar I’ve ever owned. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got “Blackie” in its case – my 1997 Fender Fat Strat on which I wrote and recorded the majority of my recordings up to the last one – Textures. Since then, I had a Epiphone Black Beauty, which was a nice guitar but a little too anonymous and easy to play for my tastes and the aforementioned Godin. I am still bonding with the Godin and at the beginning I was worried that I’d made a mistake in buying it as I didn’t feel it was my guitar. It’s hard to describe, but for me to get anywhere with an instrument, I need to have a physical bond to it. My fingers need to feel comfortable on the fretboard and I need to know where all the sweet and dead spots are. With my Fender, it was literally love at first sight, but with the Godin it took time and I am only just cementing our relationship. The great thing about it is that it can be an electric, acoustic or synth in one guitar. Very clever. Anyway, I am again detracting from the starting point of this post. I found this great video of how they make guitars at the Godin factory:

Recently, the Crimson Guitars website announced its signature Robert Fripp instrument. I’ve never been too keen on signature instruments, but I was interesting to see how they tackled the MIDI guitar aspect of the guitar. Again, they relied on the Roland GK range of pickups and I was surprised by this because the guitar is quite futuristic and I was kind of expecting a rock-solid piezo type MIDI pickup, the same kind they use on the Godin Synth Access models. I like the shape and contouring of the guitar, but not too enamoured on the wood used for the body. I am sure it looks better in the flesh, but I would have preferred an all-black model. And yes, it is too expensive so I’ll be sticking to my tried and trusted Godin. 🙂
Currently trying to do a re-recorded version of “The Clock Keeps Ticking” for this vocal CD I am pulling together. Now the original version was recorded a long time ago when I thought all I needed was a solid drum track and growling bass line. It’s not a song in the conventional sense of the word as it just jumps around four or five notes all the way through – it’s more of a sound palette for the poem lyric that runs through the song. I’m trying to get the vocal together, but the hayfever is playing havoc with me tubes and I sound like Malcolm from the Tunes adverts from the 1970s. Anyway, here’s the incredibly dull backing track…trust me, you will nod off…


Direct download: CLICK HERE

FILM REVIEW: Superman Returns


For my peers, the defining movie of their childhood is probably “Star Wars”. For me, it was the original “Superman – The Movie”. Being taken to see the movie at the ABC fleapit cinema near Baker’s Arms in Leyton (which was subsequently closed in the eighties and turned from B&Q DIY store to a Kwik Save supermarket) was one of the few promises my father managed to keep. He had promised to take me to see the aforementioned “Star Wars” and I was very excited. He worked at British Caledonian as an air steward and so he wasn’t always around – sometimes there were weeks between him flying off around the world and coming home again. That particular summer he made his promise and I had told my schoolfriends, but when we made it to the cinema in Walthamstow, the queue was deemed to long and the wait too much for him and so we turned away, a trip to the local toy shop was to be my treat instead. My heart was broken and I subsequently tried my best to lie about seeing the film and cribbed the plot from the “Star Wars Weekly” comic that was published at the same time. The only problem with that was the comic was based on the first draft of the “Star Wars” shooting script and there were several scenes in the publication that weren’t in the film. I soon learnt never to lie.
But for me, “Superman – The Movie” was special. We missed the first 15 minutes because of lateness, but once my father was asleep, I didn’t rouse him at the end of the movie and so I got to see the whole film again in its entirety. In those days, you could sit in a movie theatre and watch films over and over again without being moved on. The only downside was that it was the seventies and you had to suffer the fug of cigarette smoke that hung over the screen like a blue mist. The good old days, eh? I don’t think so. But seeing the film was a good memory and even though dear old Dad did a runner a couple of years later and there were many other disappointments along the way, seeing that movie together (even though he slept through most of it) is a memory I treasure. It is a “me and my dad” memory. A rose-tinted attempt at portraying him in a good light.
But, as usual, I am detracting from the main thrust of this piece. When “Superman Returns” was announced, I was a little worried that it would be a bit of a muck up. The film had taken over a decade to get to the screen and likes of Nicholas Cage and Jude Law (among others) had been touted for the lead role. Luckily, Bryan Singer got hold of the project and cast an unknown. Brandon Routh is simply superb as the Man of Steel and those who complain that he looks too young are missing the point completely. He manages to retain the same fresh-faced innocence that the late, great Christopher Reeve brought to the role. Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane also surprised me, as I had been prepared for a disappointment, but her chemistry with Routh overcomes the fact that she doesn’t really nail the hard-bitten hack routine so expertly played by her predecessor Margot Kidder.
The plot is simple: Superman returns after being missing for five years after zipping off to explore the ruins of his homeworld, Krypton, in a desperate attempt to find any survivors. In the time, the world has moved on. Lois Lane, the woman he loves, has moved on, had a child and a fiancé and is nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for her piece entitled: Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman. Au contraire, Ms Lane. The whole film is about why the world needs heroes – not just human heroes who pull off amazing feats of courage or determination or blind faith, but those symbols of good to which we can all relate and aspire. The great thing about Superman is that he isn’t human: he lacks the vanity, the greed, the ego, which makes us such poor imperfect specimens – and all that makes his nemesis Lex Luthor so potent. And Kevin Spacey pulls out a majestic performance as the villain and is genuinely frightening in some of the darker scenes.
A lot of people have complained that there isn’t a plot or it is a bit slow, but that’s what I like about this film. It portrays Superman as a real character and there’s bag of character development and despite its 2 ½ hour length, I loved every minute of it. The set action pieces are just breath taking and when Superman takes a Kryptonite-induced kicking, you’ll be grimacing at his pain through clenched teeth. The special effects are just out of this world and the CG stuff is invisible. I just can’t get over how good it all looked on the screen. Of course, it is a quantum leap away from the original movies, but there’s so many ways this film could have gone completely wrong, but Bryan Singer has done a sterling job. I thought that this was a truly brilliant rendering of the character and a magnificent restart to the series.
The final scenes, which I won’t reveal because it will give away the plot, had me choked up. I realise that the Superman movies is essentially a father-and-son piece with Kal-El trying to find his way in a universe without his father and just doing the best he can. This sentiment was echoed in that final scene and was very emotive for me. When the movie was over and the Missus asked me what I thought, I genuinely couldn’t reply as I was literally choked with emotion. It took me a good ten minutes to get over the experience and I know this is sad because it is just a superhero story, but it pulled those emotional strings that run invisibly through us and returned me to that seven-year-old walking out the ABC in Leyton with his father. And sons, even Superman, need their fathers.