Happy birthday to me!
But because you’ve all forgotten to send me cards or presents, I’m giving you a present in an attempt to make you feel bad. Yes, it is even more incredibly dull instrumental music. This time it is “A Pocketful of Stars” – the first disc from “God Pays Debts Without Money…” If you like it, buy one of my CDs or something.
CLICK HERE FOR MUSIC
Category: Diary
Wowser, I now know what it is like to be a professional musician? How so? Well, you know when you’ve made it when other people start making money off the back of you without you seeing a penny. Whilst googling my own name (just to see what responses were coming back after the “redesign” and not because I am a vain S.O.B.) I came across the following page on respected e-retailer Amazon UK. Apparently, if you want to buy a second-hand copy of “Sows’ Ears and Silk Purses” you can get one from here for between £47 and £30. Wow! I am obviously selling these for the wrong price over at CDBABY, where the item still continues to sell much to my annoyance. People buy “Sows’ Ears” and not “God Pays Debts Without Money”, which is a better compilation IMHO, but what do the people know? So maybe I should ramp up the price? Nah, I’m not in it for the money…
Meanwhile, it snowed and so we take our obligatory “Dog in the Snow” picture to give you all a feeling of the wintry abience. Alex the Wonderdog strikes a pose and we realise that he’s not as white as he looks, in fact he looks rather yellow. When the snow melts, I know a little doggie that’s going in the bath tub.
Still trying to record new stuff, but most of what I’m doing sounds rather shit. I’ve been in this place before, creatively speaking, way back in 2001 when I was bereft of any majickal musikal jooce. It’ll come back. I’m just looking for the new sound…
So The Missus is away in Amsterdam attending some media show and I am left at Chez Lock, feeling miserable and so alone. Boo-hoo! Me and Alex the Wonderdog are pining and we take it in shifts to lay on the doormat sniffing at the front door, waiting for our mistress to return
.
Today, I received a phonecall from BT Broadband. This time it was BT Broadband UK and not India and someone higher up the foodchain had heard about my internet problems. We spoke and I explained and she listened and she was incredulous at my problems and agreed that it was pretty shitty getting a random connection somewhere between the speeds of 3.5Mb (rare) and 135k (common).
She said she’d have a word with billing to see what could be done and returned saying that they weren’t shifting and weren’t going to give me a regrade back to my old service. So she said she’d send me a new Home Hub (my first one never worked and got binned) and we’d see what happens. Her advice was, “You’d be better off with cable because these phone lines are that good when it comes to broadband”. Ouch! However, I really appreciated the truth coming from a BT minion and it kind of endeared me to her.
However, when my contract expires in May, I am off to my cable company…UNLESS…something magical happens in the meantime.
I’ve been using my crappy broadband connection to research my council tax rate. I saw something on TV saying that many homes had been miscalculated when it came to the original council tax bandings back in 1991, so I had a nose around. Apparently, all the tunnel-linked homes in our street are in band “C”, the bungalow next door is in band “B” but all the properties in the middle of the street, which are of a larger size and command a higher price at market are all in band “A” and are paying £200 a year less than the rest of us in the street. How the heck did they work that out then? Oh well, it is another injustice heaped on me from an uncaring, money-grabbing world. If you want to check out what your neighbours are paying and be a snoop go to the following link and enter your postcode. I have a feeling you will be just as surprised as me:
http://www.voa.gov.uk
With the Missus away, I’ve been trying my best to justify all the musical equipment in the house. I believe in the “Use it or lose it” ethos, but I am having trouble finding my groove. I think it might have something to do with going through all my old recordings and putting them on the site. I realise that 98% of everything I’ve ever done is utter toss…oh why did I waste my time when I could have been getting drunk or shooting up speedballs? But no, it is a stupid hobby. Creativity sucks…but all the music bar a few CDs of stuff are now on the site. You just have to go to the music section on your way in.
Go on, do it! Do it now!
But back to futility, I recorded a little soundscapey thing. I had a good vibe going but I ruined it but putting this awful wah-wah pussycat noise on it. Because of this, I call it a Catscape. Meeeooow!
DIRECT DOWNLOAD
Despite our warnings and requests, the Missus’s grandmother was today robbed by some scumbag. What happened to our old neighbour should have been a warning. She had been robbed a number of times by con-artists pretending to be “workmen” or warning her of a leak. These filth then distract the victim whilst a second person sneaks in and robs from the house. Like I said, this should have been a warning as we’d explained this to The Missus’s grandmother and what had happened to our neighbour, but our explanations NOT to let anyone into the house had fallen on deaf ears.
Today, a young white youth knocked on the door and told her she had a leak. She let him in and he then kept her talking while a second accomplice came in the front door and stole a significant amount of money and her bank book. Part of me is angry by these scumbags and I’d love to have ten minutes of their time alone and part of me is angry at The Missus’s grandmother because she didn’t take any bloody notice of us. I do believe that as you get older, you get more gullible and trusting. Oh well, these scrotes will be back in a few weeks to try it again. They actually pass on lists of vulnerable pensioners amongst each other, so they know who they can target and who is rich pickings. That’s how our old neighbour got targetted so many times to the point where her sons insisted that she be moved to secure accommodation. These scumbags have a lot to answer for. They are the lowest of the low, scum of the earth and I would happily wipe them out without a care. But of course, the bleating middle-classes, those with a conscience, will complain that these criminals are the victims and that society made them this way. Bollocks, I say.
So BBC throw-back detective series “Life on Mars” returns next month for one last spurt of Brut-soaked nosalgia and crime fighting. The first series wasn’t that bad, though I did often nod off during one or two episodes. Anyway, the Beeb is promoting the show by using Camberwick Green style characters. I like the way Gene Hunt is beating up a nonce. Ahhh, the good old days when you could bash up the crims without getting yer collar felt. Have a viddy:
While wandering the web, I found this very strange link. It is a shop that sells diguises for dogs, so that you can take your Hellhound to the park disguised as a poodle without fear of being nicked for having a dangerous dog. Weird…
Meanwhile, I’ve uploaded even more old tunes for you to plunder. Head over to: www.darrenlock.com/music.htm
So I decided to refocus the website. You see, I’ve literally got gigs of data storage on this webhost and so I decided to make the most of my money. So I am uploaded all the music I’ve recorded over the past 10 years. Some of this is dire. I make no excuses – for me, music making is one long learning process and the latter recordings are light years away from the earlier ones.
Anyway, if you go to www.darrenlock.com you can access the first few albums I’ve made available. I would end this with a naturally chirpy “Enjoy!” but I doubt anyone will. Don’t worry, the albums pick up with “Loops and Scales” which I haven’t gotten around to uploading yet. But trust me, they do get better.
Katina wrote on 09.01.07:
It’s weird how things work. Today is Jan 8th, 2007. I met Ian in 1999 while dating one of his mutual friends. I mentioned his name last night… about seeing him on a commercial… and, as chance would I have it, I came across his name on a Resident Evil web page… so out of curiousity… I googled him and look at where I’ve ended up. I feel rather sick…
Yes, while I never actually met Malcolm Xerxes, I had many dealings with him on the net over the years at various music forums. He was a funny guy, if a little eccentric in his ways, but still an Englishman. I was very sad to hear what happened at it was still a shock even though I didn’t really know him that well. I am not going to add any more as I don’t really know the surroundings of the case.
Rtreynor wrote about the Ashbory bass on 12.01.07:
Thanks for this. Yesterday, I recalled seeing a demo for this thing back in 1987. I was impressed, however the price back then was quite expensive, especially for a 17-year old. After a google search (“small bass, rubber strings”), I discovered that they’re making these things again. Your youtube video was great, and I especially like the sound clips of it alone, so you can hear those rubbery strings in action. Very cool sound. Nice job putting this info out here. Thanks!
You are welcome. The Ashbory Bass is a wonderful little instrument, if a little unstable in the tuning department, and it delivers a big old sound. I have fond memories buying my Ashbory for my 30th birthday from Highland Park Pawn in Los Angeles. I recommend this intrument wholeheartedly.
Eino on 17.01.07 wrote:
I’ve been releasing my crap music to electronic bbs:s and web for just a bit over ten years now. I can’t remember more than two comments or e-mails from anyone, except friends or people I didn’t know formerly. Case in point is some tracks I have in Mod Archive:
http://www.modarchive.com/artists/keskitalo/
Apart from “editorial reviews” for two songs, I’ve heard nothing from listeners, even though each piece has hundreds of downloads. That’s how it goes.
Well I don’t know what to say, Eino. All I can suggest is keep on with it. When I started out posting my own crap tunes on the Internet back in the late 1990s, no-one responded. Sites like YouTube have allowed me to get some feedback, but that’s only because of the sheer numbers passing through that site. So pitch your music at sites that get lots of traffic and I am sure you’ll get a response. But don’t expect anything from the listening public, just keep on making music for yourself and any response you get (good or bad) is a bonus. Stay inspired!
On 18.01.07, Hans asked about my recent improvisation:
Did you have a metronome click coming through your headphones on the B improv?
Nope. No metronome was harmed during the making of this recording. I just have a very active left leg.
Joke:
Q.What do you call an elf who uses the Tube to travel to work?
A. A Metro Gnome
With regards to my recent battle with BT Broadband, Crimcinnaman says this:
Sounds like you and RF got the same Indian BT rep! Please, stop not being rude to everyone, your liable to pull something or have an aneurysm.
Oh there are lots of people working at those call centres. I feel sorry for them as they clearly aren’t equipped by BT to deal with the highly technical problems thrown up by ADSL technology. You have to be zen-like when dealing with them and polite at all times. I am never rude to anyone in the real world and am the embodiment of politeness and good manners. Now fuck off! 🙂