Category: Diary


How Not to Get Ahead in Business (Without Really Trying)

*** WARNING – THIS IS A REALLY LONG VIDEO ***

So what really happened in 2008? Do you want to hear a story of misery and woe? Do you want to settle down with a cup o’ java and watch as one man’s life, hopes and dreams unravel before your very eyes. Do you want to see a family triumph over outstanding adversity onto to fail against an uncaring world?

This is no Hollywood blockbuster starring Matt Damon. No. This is real life starring yours truly, the insurance industry and a number of car batteries.

R.I.P. Speckle the Cockatiel 1994-2012

Emotions are a strange things. Despite what those of you out there might think, I am a big ball of emotion, draped in this flabby, out-of-condition skin, held up by piss and vinegar and the willpower to continue. Today, I lost a good friend. OK – it was just a pet cockatiel, but when a pet has been with you for 18 years, they become more than feathers and claws and a beak. He was a presence. He was someone who told me to go to bed (yes, he did indeed make a heck of a noise if I was staying up late and he wanted some peace and quiet and I would have to duly retreat), he was someone who would amuse me with his wolf-whistles and clucks and cuteness.

This bird had history: he knew my grandfather who sadly passed on in 1994. He was a link to the past. He’s lived in every house I’ve ever lived in. He’s travelled everywhere with me – a feat not even Alex the Wonderdog can boast. He’s been a presence for a long time. He was bought as a birthday present for me in 1994 from a pet shop in Wood Street in Walthamstow and he was named Speckle because he was speckly when we got him. Then he moulted and lost all his speckles. He ended up with a completely incongruous name. I might as well have called him Fred.

In the first decade, he would have the run of the house, perch on my knee whilst I watched movies on TV, sing to the birds through the window and generally be cock of the walk. Then things changed between us – not sure why – but he decided he wanted to be the alpha bird and would try and attack me whenever I let him out. And so, his freedom was limited severely and he was only allowed out for daily exercise.

As the years passed, his interest in flying diminished and he became a cage bird. But he survived the crash. In a fluke of luck for him, I moved him to the box room because he would sometimes disturb Verity as a baby and make a noise during feeds, so he was exiled for a period. This exile in the box room saved him, because if he’d been in the room when the car struck our previous dwelling, he’d have either died of fright or his cage would have fallen out of the building and ended up on the road. But he was saved.

Last year, after we moved, he wasn’t very well. He took to nesting at the bottom of the cage or his tail would be tucked under him, but I gave him some bird tonic and he always seemed to buck up. But in the past week, he was spending more and more time at the bottom of the cage, making it impossible for me to clean him and give him his food. Yesterday, I knew something was up and even warned Verity to be quiet because he was very ill and I was worried “something might happen”. Verity did as she was told and drew a picture of him and placed it in her room.

Today, I heard him in his cage in the morning, but as he’d been under the weather, wasn’t planning on uncovering him until later. When nursing a sick bird it is best to keep them warm, in a subdued environment and preferably covered to avoid any shocks or noise. And with two small kids who loved running up to his cage, keeping him covered was the only option.

Just before 4pm, worried I’d not heard anything, I checked his cage to find him passed on.

I’m not ashamed to say I’ve been crying today. Like I said, I am just a big ball of emotion.

Fly on, my friend…

Speckle giving you the eye back in 1998

Steepless – Portico Quartet [REMIX]

One of my favourite bands have a competition at the moment where you can remix one of their songs from their new album and you can win some goodies. The last time I entered a remix competition like this (about 10 years ago – Paul Oakenfold “Ready Steady Go”) I won a runners-up prize, so fingers crossed!

Steepless – Portico Quartet [Remix] by Darren Lock

Hi! This is a personal message to the individual that is constantly searching for my personal email address via Google (yes, your every search is registered and reported to me via my webstats). Obviously, I don’t give my personal email address out to anyone – that would be just plain daft.

However, if you have a genuine message for me then you can leave it via the contact box on this website (I’ve even included one at the end of this post) or you can contact me via the many social media services (YouTube, Facebook & Twitter).

Hope this helps.

    The Stinkhorn EP

    I’ve had some viewers ask what the music is in my videos and I use my own music to add some extra atmosphere to my work. You can listen to the music I use via an EP I have created. It’s called the Stinkhorn EP and costs £2 (though you can pay more if you wish). You can access it here:

    http://darrenlock.bandcamp.com/album/the-stinkhorn-ep

    Or use this handy player to listen to it:

    And if you want to download a whole FREE compilation album, you can get that from my webstore too at:

    http://darrenlock.bandcamp.com/album/easy-listening

    Holy F*ck!

    I haven’t been paying attention to my website stats of late and I just checked the download figures for last month and during October 2011 my website shifted a ball-breaking 295Gb (yes, gigabytes) of data – mainly the audio and video files that I have created. This is a personal best. I am flabbergasted…and slightly scared…

    Text Versus Video

    In the past, I used to write down some of my thoughts about the records I was buying purely for my own entertainment. (Check out the review section of this site for some of the crud that I penned). I think I started doing concert reviews – as I liked to keep a diary of what I’d seen – and this extended to album reviews too, thanks to my involvement with a music fan site I am no longer involved with. I used to get a bit of traffic off these reviews and there used to be a spike in virtual footfall whenever I posted a review of a concert.

    Indeed, the days after writing about a live gig I would see people searching on Google, seeking other people’s thoughts on the night’s entertainment. This was pleasing and a feeling of inclusion in the World Wide Web is a nice thing. I was happy to share my thoughts and share my experiences with strangers. It seemed a nice, productive way of spending my time.

    This was until June of this year when I posted a review of a pretty high profile concert (Madness at the Royal Festival Hall as part of the Ray David Meltdown Festival) and I saw zero traffic for my review. Nothing, nada, not a fucking bean. How so? I couldn’t understand why no-one would be seeking out reviews of the concert. I even went so far as to type in the gig into Google to see if:

    1) There were any other reviews of the concert
    2) If my website was even in the page ranking

    I can’t remember exactly where my website rated but it was pretty deep into search results. Of course, people tend to search for something and then not bother clicking through 20+ pages of search results – so being on the front four or five pages is key to a successful website. Despite my review being very current (I posted it the same night as the concert), for whatever reason my words were designated by Google as not being relevant enough.

    I then did some digging around and discovered that this year Google had changed their search algorithm, which apparently changed all the page ranking and now the search engine basis a websites suitability in terms of fresh, original content. Despite my site being packed with fresh, original content, I was no longer featuring highly. I saw my traffic plummet to single digit visits on some days and I found others on the Google Forums who were in the same position and wanted to know how to fix the problem.

    There is no fix and there are businesses out there who depend on Google to direct customers to their sites and I read harrowing stories of established internet businesses finding their customers disappearing overnight. And there was nothing they, nor Google could do about it. It was all part of this search algorithm change.

    So for a month or so, I watched my website die. OK – I didn’t have the greatest amount of traffic in the world, but people come to my site for certain requests and my regular daily traffic was gone – just one man and his dog was turning up. So I was left with the dilemma – do I quit now and take off all my content or do I try and come up with a new strategy? The weird thing was that despite my site being almost invisible on Google I was still shifting hundreds of Gb of data with my music and video files coming off the site. So I thought I would come up with a new strategy and it has kind of paid off.

    Google and YouTube are the same company, no? There’s an awful lot of viewers on Google, right? So what if I try and harness the power of the two, bring them together and somehow kick-start the traffic to my site legitimately without using Blackhat SEO techniques? I had this idea to move my music reviews onto YouTube and then link to them via my site – cross indexing the two. I started my “Prog Review” channel and have seen an incredible increase in traffic to my site. My site is alive again. Huzzah! However, I have had to generate content for YouTube (which is Google) to get to this point.

    But despite this success, I’ve had a couple of nay-sayers on the music website I used to be involved with saying that video reviews are crap because they can skim written reviews faster and sitting through some fat head flapping his chops about records takes up too much of their time. They do not want to be entertained, they want the facts fast. They kind of missed the point in what I was trying to do, but it got me thinking about Text Vs Video.

    I personally cannot stand reading music reviews (or reviews in particular). People who are paid to write music reviews are the lowest form of life. They don’t buy the things they review, so therefore sit in an artificial domain compared to us serfs who actually pay out our hard-earned money and there is very often an agenda involved. Cripes, I used to work in magazines and on a number of occasions I had written stinky, honest reviews of products only to be told by my editor to bump up the score because an advert from the company involved was appearing in the mag. That left me pretty much fucking jaded with writing reviews for a living.

    But yeah: words versus pictures? Will one supersede the other? I’ve been spending a lot of time on YouTube over the years and I’ve seen lots of interesting content made by enthusiastic amateurs who review electronics, computer games and what-not. And now I am trying to do the same. If you want to take part and be mildly entertained, then join me. But if you want to remain in the past, skimming reviews written by people who have no right to express an opinion, then play on, my friend.

    The internet has changed everything…

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