Who said that you can’t have humour in music? One of the best spoof bands around is Goldie Lookin’ Chain and I just think whoever is the brains behind this outfit is god. If you like Spinal Tap or The Rutles and understand what a chav is, then these guys are worth checking out. Here’s a link to their latest video (Americans need not to investigate futher because you WILL NOT understand any of the cultural references).
Visit their site at:
http://www.youknowsit.co.uk/
Category: Diary
Welcome to this website and more confessional, self-obsessed bullshit chronicling the minutiae of my everyday life for you to read while you drink your Starbuck’s coffee and try to decide what pirated music to upload on to your customised iPod.
Cynical, moi? You betcha!
Where did the year go? Was that the sound of the days whizzing past? Oh well, it’s Neil Innes and the Rutles tonight. Should be fun!
The Xmas lights are already springing up around my locale. It gets earlier every year (the same way that policemen are getting younger and fatter). Do I feel festive? Nope…not yet. Do you?
Remember to tune into http://www.radiofrontiers.com/ at 10pm Eastern Time.
The Missus keeps forcing me to write. Nag, nag, nag…she goes. Finish that novel, she says. Blah, blah, blah… So now I fill the gaps in-between my freelance writing work with…WRITING! GAK!
Stupid bloody novel. I hates it. I hates it, I do… I know what you are going to say. You are going to say, “What’s it about, Darren?” and I say, I don’t know. I am not even sure if it is a novel. At the moment, it is a series of dubiously connected monologues chronicling the angst and despair of 21st Century London. Or it could just be heap of unreadable horse-shit…
Anyway, the BBC website (god bless it, that’s where my £125 a year TV license fee goes, so that any filthy herberts from around the world can access information I PAID FOR…the bastards) informed me that today, 24 November 1991, Freddie Mercury died. I remember that day only too well. Cold and miserable and travelling via the tube to University. Bah…
Also on this day, the band Electric Six release their cover of “Radio Ga Ga”. I saw this video last night on TV and I was in mixed minds about it. Part of me thought it was offensive and part of me thought it was the funniest thing I’d seen in ages. I really love the Electric Six.
I’m gonna take ya to a Gay Bay
Gay Bay
Gay Bay…
Anyway, enough of that, roll the video, Henry!
Windows Media
http://mfile.akamai.com/9139/asf/stream.wmg.com/wmi/uk/electric6/Electricsix_radiogagaWin_hi.asx
Real Player
http://mfile.akamai.com/9139/rm/stream.wmg.com/wmi/uk/electric6/Electricsix_radiogagaReal_hi.ram
Last night, I also watched a TV programme where a couple were instructed by two “experts” on how to have sex properly. Highlight for me was the disappointed look on the guys face when he told us how his partner had told him that she faked an orgasm: “None of my other girlfriends ever did that,” he said. But behind his eyes you could see the fear and doubt growing. Then there were plenty of clips of his white buttocks pumping for dear life…ahhhh, this is the apex of British TV. THIS is what I pay my TV licence fee for. He humped and humped and humped, but was getting nowhere.
“It’s like trying to push a sausage uphill with your nose,” I remarked, before changing channels. I never did find out if the experts got this guy to make his girlfriend cum…not much of a cliff-hanger, was it?
Saturday was a wasted day, waiting for a plumbers to come, who came late, managed to NOT fix the problem and then return at 6pm when I was having my dinner, so I sent them away with a flea in their ear. Seeing as it was a minor job and the plumbers were called out on our home insurance, I will endeavour to fix the non-emergency drip myself.
Sunday I worked on a new music project. The song is called “Mr Straight” and was recorded by my new band, Gorgeous George & The Hammerheads.
Personnel
“Gorgeous” George Dixon – Vocals
Darren Lock – Bass & drum loop
Freddie “Fast Fingers” Butler – Guitars
John Beard – Piano
Hear this song: http://www.darrenlock.com/media/Mr_Straight.mp3
A painful lump in my left forearm has arisen. It hurts to touch and feels as if someone has pinched me or punched me really hard. There is no bruise or sign of a boil or pimple ready to ooze pus from this area. The dull pain travels up my arm and makes my fingers ache. What is this pain? What is this lump? Will it go away? I noticed this lump on Saturday. Today it feels as if it is easing but it still throbs noticeably. I am hoping it is a blind spot or a ganglion rather than some weird tumour that requires my left arm being amputated from the left elbow. (Jeez, I think I am turning into a hypochondriac).
Recently, I sold a load of old recording software I didn’t need on eBay and with the proceeds purchased a new electric guitar. I am just a shamless, lazy, useless bum who ought to deal with his debts first before squandering his cash on fripperies. But what do I care? I am a lazy bum. A useless, no good lazy bum. And there’s nothing any of you can do to stop me. Mwahahahahhaaahaaa!
The guitar was a boxed new Epiphone Black Beauty (with three pickups) from eBay. It was a real steal and I am really glad I purchased it. I have already fitted an internal GK-2A MIDI pickup and I have a Bigsby tremolo unit being delivered soon.
Anyway, I did some recording yesterday and the pain in my arm/fingers told me to play something S-L-O-W. And so, I kicked on my Boss RC-20XL and decided on a loop of around 4 minutes. The rules were simple:
First pass: play single notes, letting them decay and die
Second pass: play two notes in succession, quickly
Third pass: play three notes in succession at will
Fourth pass: play what you feel
Fifth pass: play single notes
Sixth pass: play two notes
Etc, etc…
So this is me with my Epiphone Les Paul Black Beauty played into my mixer with a little bit of reverb without any other effects other than the RC-20XL looper. It has its moments and is a sheer indulgence. You can right-clear the following URL and select “SAVE AS” or you can click it and let it play with Windows Media Player (if you have that installed, of course)
http://www.darrenlock.com/media/gs.mp3
The US Presidential result left me depressed. I was under a cloud for the rest of the day. Why? Because I believe that the American people deserved better. Because it depresses me to see America standing alone on the world stage when it should be taking a more responsible stance on International issues. Because I know that Crony Blair is super-glued to Bush’s coat-tails. Where ever he wants to go, dear old soppy Tony will have to follow. It’s all part of the special relationship, right? (And this is from a life-long, Commie, pinko, left-wing Labour supporter who voted TWICE for dear old Tony).
Don’t get me wrong. I really like America and the Americans when I have visited but your politicians make you look stupid. They are going to drag you down a ideological cul-de-sac dominated by religion, moral crusades and fear. The neo-conservatives are really just like the Taliban, but without the funky facial hair. In the next four years, you will see your personal rights eroded away.
(Of course, if you are a white, god-fearing, middle-class, heterosexual, this will not affect you. But the government will still keep you scared of those tan-skinned terrorists hiding under your bed).
Fear = control.
In the past, politics was dominated by aspirational theologies. The politicians came to you and promised clean water, a job or the right to vote. Now the politics of aspiration don’t work because we’ve all got our widescreen TVs and our DVD players. So how do you inspire the electorate? Fear.
Make ’em scared and they will tick the box. Pathetic, ain’t it?
The worst thing is I am seeing the same rhetoric spouted by Bush being adopted by Blair and he is trying to scare this country into voting for him. It won’t work with us because we ain’t that gullible. We’ve been invaded, had the Empire and bought the T-shirt. We’re jaded and cynical. America is still a young whipper-snapper and has a lot to learn.
Now I am not going to say that you were wrong for voting Bush, because you wasn’t. It was your prerogative and, at least, you took the time to vote. But the one thing I will urge you to do if you did vote Bush is to get yourself a passport and to travel outside the US. Visit Europe. Travel. That’s all I ask of you. This will help you to do two things:
1) You will learn to appreciate other cultures
2) You will love your own country even more
Blah, blah, blah…it means nothing. Why waste my time even typing this? It’s not going to change anything. The only thing that changes anything is the passage of time. And so, we just have to wait and wait and wait until this black period of world history passes us over.
But I’ve got it off my chest. GAK!
Tomorrow is 5 November. This is the anniversary of some Catholic trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament. We celebrate the fact that Guy Fawkes, this 17th century terrorist, was hung, drawn and quartered (very slowly, of course) by burning an effigy of the fellow and lighting fireworks. Hurrah!
Click here for a little bit of history.
It’s also someone’s birthday and because it shares this day, I can never forget it. So another word of advice: marry someone whose birthday is shared with a popular local holiday.