Pain and agony, dear reader. Pain and agony and suffering. And weeping and wailing and arms a flailing. I have a case of the stomach cramps today and I am feeling as if someone has stabbed me in the gut. It hurts when I breath and when I move it is as if someone is wiggling the aforementioned knife. Well it’s all my own stupid fault. Yesterday, I needed to take Alex the Wonderdog to the vet, but my tummy was a little upset so I took a pill to control myself and now my bowels are in spasm. What a complete and utter fool I am. Will I ever fricking learn? Yes. No more tablets to control my irritable stomach. So I have dosed myself up with peppermint tablets and plenty of liquids and hopefully things will right themselves soon enough.
Today, we had a mobile dog groomer come and make both dogs look mighty purty. Unfortunately, Alex the Wonderdog put up such a struggle that it looks as if the groomer cut his fur with a knife and fork. She never even attempted to groom his tail, so it is still fluffy with 3+ months of growth. He looks like a dingo or African wild dog of the Serengheti. Of all the groomers, this woman was the worst and he looks in such a state, I couldn’t even face taking him out for walkies. Oh the embarrasment.
Last night, I caught the weather on BBC TV. Peter Cockcroft informed me that in the year 2080 the weather will be wetter. For a minute, I thought that I had fallen into an alternative dimension, but I looked at the Missus and she looked at me and we both looked at the TV and yes, Mr Cockroft was talking about the year 2080. Well chances are that I am going to be a long time dead. Good to see that the BBC really has its finger on the pulse and there I was only wanting the three-day forecast.
Roll on 2080, eh? At least there won’t be a hosepipe ban…
Category: Diary
So we took Alex the Wonderdog to the vet today. It’s been over a week since he was attacked by a mastiff and the vet was amazed by his recovery. She was very pleased with his progress and the fact that the bruising had completely gone. She also noticed that Alex and our own demeanour were back to our regular chirpy selves. It was good to see the boy done good.
Did about 30 minutes of recording before I went to bed last night. It’s funny with all the problems I’ve been having in the recording department, my nerve has gone somewhat. I’ve noticed that my timing is a little bit out and I am not as relaxed as usual. This is because there is an underlying fear that on review a perfect take might be ruined by a large random crackle of noise. I am hoping to relax soon and get back into the swing of things, but the PC is still adding extraneous noises to my recordings where there are no noises. It is bugging the life out of me and I am seriously resisting spending more money I can’t spare to fix the problem. Grrr…
Anyways, the result of my musical noodling is the following track. The drum loop was put down on the Handsonic by me, the bass added later and then the lead guitar and rhythm guitar over that. It’s good. It’s got space. It’s not as tight as I hoped, but I like the vibe. The performance is iffy in places, but I might just keep the looseness of it as I think it adds to the ramshackle nature of the track. The Missus liked it when I played it to her and thought it was something different. I don’t get any other feedback from anywhere else so I am flying blind, as per usual. Enjoy!
Direct download: CLICK HERE
It’s almost that time again to send off more stock to CDBABY. Remember folks, I am always in need of guitar accoutrements, so buy, buy, buy some of my awful amateurish music. It’s good for the soul.
On the mindless crime front, after Monday’s broken car window shenanigans, the scumbags struck again on Tuesday night smasing at least three car windows in Colebrook Path. Alex went nuts at around 8.45pm (roughtly the same time as the previous night) giving me enough warning to run upstairs to peep out of the window. I saw a gang of around 6 to 8 white youths aged between 14-16 walking down the road in two columns, a few of the boys broke off to peer into car windows. I thought our car was going to get it and that I was ready to get another beating as I intervened, but thankfully they ignored us. It would be awfully presumptuous to assume that this group was the responsible for the three broken car windows further up the road, but my gut instinct and they way they were acting really makes me suspcious. Plus the fact that nothing had been stolen from the cars makes me thing that this is either an ongoing act of thuggish vandalism or a modern day take on a rite of passage. Funny old world, ain’ t it? Still ain’t figured it out yet…
So my PC has been giving me real gip. It no longer recognised my USB devices and my digital audio interface was acting up, so no recording was successful. I’ve reinstalled WinXP a number of times to no success, but I think I got it right last night. I can now reinstall the operating system and have all my applications back in place in under two hours. Whoopsie fricking do!
Because I’ve been reinstalling WinXP, Microsoft think I am a pirate and instead of reactivating the software, I had to call them up and speak to some Eastern European lady with a thick accent I couldn’t understand who gave me a 20-digit code to enter into the software to unlock it properly. Isn’t modern technology wonderful? The upshot is that I think (fingers crossed) that my PC is back to normal and that I might actually be able to record again soon without pops and crackles appearing on my audio like a milk float crashing into a Rice Krispie Convention.
Last night, a neighbour knocked to tell us that our car had been broken into. Luckily, it wasn’t our car but someone else’s who had parked close to our car. Confused? Anyway, The Missus did the neighbourly thing and knocked at the next neighbours to see if the car had belonged to them or their friends. It didn’t. Later, when we going out for late night walkies, the victim was there with a group inspecting the damage. We told them that Alex the Wonderdog barked up a storm at about 9pm. It looked as if nothing had been stolen and that the window had just been smashed. Perhaps, Alex the Wonderdog’s barking had disturbed the thieving scumbag. The older gentlemen who I took to be the father of the girl who owned the car explained that he lived down the road and mentioned something about “coons”. All my feelings of sympathy soon dissipated. Saying that, we actually got a Anti-BNP newspaper delivered on Saturday. I thanked the old gentlemen who was delivering them and told him to keep up the good work. The old chap looked kind of scared…I’m not surprised.
Meanwhile, my loyal reader will be heartened to know that Alex the Wonderdog has made an amazing recovery. His bruises have almost gone, his wounds healed and he is barking at every noise. Still doesn’t enjoy walking, but I’m not going to let him play the sympathy vote against. My thumb is still sore though. 🙁
All say “aaahhhh” at Darren’s sore thumb…
Every so often a new headline comes along and makes you go: “Eh?” Here’s another entrant in our non-too-serious competition “Headline of the Year”
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/4845210.stm
Mind boggled.
I am not sure if you are thinking: “How comes Darren isn’t recording anymore?” Probably not. My solitary reader is probably wondering when I am going to post some revealing pictures of myself in a desperate attempt to increase traffic. It’s never gonna happen, baby. But back to my initial preamble, my PC hasn’t been well. I reinstalled WinXP yet again only to discover that the same self issue presented itself with SONAR adding all manner of clicks, pops and burps to anything I tried to record. I have tweaked, prodded, pulled, smacked, whacked, thrakked and bashed the damn thing, but still the problem persists. G’ah! I feel like breaking something. I seem to be going through a phase where everything seems to be a problem. I just want to turn on, plug in and record and not have all this hassle. I’ve been thinking about dumping the PC and getting a hardware multitrack recorder, but alas, the cost is prohibitive and the computer has more going for it in terms of what you can do with your audio. Oh well, bite your lip and stop whimpering, you big girl.
Alex the Wonderdog is improving. The foul flatulence caused by the anaesthetic from his visit to the Vet has almost gone. I awoke on Friday morning thinking that I had accidentally set my bed in a Victorian sewer. The Missus was convinced that the White Trumper had made a whoopsie on the bedroom floor. Luckily, the wind is now blowing in the other direction, as it were.
More stories of woe are filtering back to me via the Lock Information Network Dispersal Agent (or L.I.N.D.A. – only The Missus will get that joke) and it seems that at least three other dogs have been attacked by the Mastiff that lives in Colebrook Lane. One Staffordshire Bull Terrier managed to get the upper hand on the larger dog and took a bite out of it, but there does seem to be a pattern emerging of dog attacks and from what I’ve heard it might be deliberate. It seems that Mr M G of Colebrook Lane isn’t a particularly well-liked chap in the area. I made another report of the incident to the RSCPA, but I doubt anything will come of it. All the authorities will say is “don’t do it again, Mr G” and the rest of us dog owners will just have to take care not to be in the wrong place at the wrong time again. Why is life like that? Answers on a postcard, please.
Tomorrow night is my first music gig of 2006. I was a bit worried about leaving Alex at home but my mum’s friend is going to dog sit with him. They get on well with each other so that’s just fine. Whodathunkit…a babysitter for a dog, eh? What’s that all about? Anyways, I’ve been looking forward to this for a while. I’ll cobble together a review for all you internet googlers looking for a quick gig fix.
A partly disturbed sleep. From about 4am, Alex the Wonderdog began crying and whimpering. Obviously the painkillers had worn off. It was a pitiful noise and not very conducive to a restful sleep. At one point, he wanted to get up on the bed with us, but I told him it would have been too painful for him to be lifted on the bed. He spent the rest of the morning groaning, sighing and crying. At the moment, he is more settled as he has had his first lot of tablets for the day.
My sources reveal that the dog that did this has attacked a number of other animals in the district. So we are not alone. I spoke to the council dog warden yesterday and he said as this was a civil matter all that they could do was send them a letter telling them to control their animal. Gee, that’s going to make a lot of difference, isn’t it? If the damn dog had bitten me, I could get it destroyed, but because Alex is regarded as “property” and not a living, breathing entity, there are no rights for him. My mother suggested contacting the RSPCA, but I doubt they’ll give me the solution I am looking for. It’s only a matter of time before that dog kills another dog or attacks a person – and the owner doesn’t give a shit. If he had got Alex by the throat he’d have been a goner. I keep running through the event in my head and I wish I could have done more damage to the other dog. I feel that I have let Alex down by my complete incapacity to get justice for him. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the other guy had shown some sympathy or actually tried to intervene, but he didn’t. As we walked Cappy the Yorkshire Terrier last night, we went to the point where it happened and the mind’s eye has a habit of re-running the footage. The Missus spoke how she saw the other owner standing on the corner just watching for a moment, not even moving forward. The more I think about it, the more I think it was deliberate and the angrier I am becoming.
But what to do? What can I do for Alex? At the moment, I can only make him comfortable and help him recover. I thought of making some posters to stick around by the poop-bins to warn other dog owners because this is the responsible thing to do, but I doubt I’ll stick it because I reckon I am going to get the crap kicked out of me again. I now have the name, address and telephone number of the owner, but what use is this when the law doesn’t protect dogs?
Thank you M G, the mastiff owner of Colebrook Lane for the unnecessary pain and suffering you have inflicted on me and my family.
We got him back from the vet. Thankfully, the injuries weren’t as bad as they first thought, but he is still badly bruised and has several puncture wounds. Luckily, no stitches were required. He’s very groggy at the moment and far, far away. Here are some snaps of his wounds for the record:
I think that’s more than enough excitement for one day, don’t you?