Yesterday evening, I received an email from TalkbackThames informing me that I’d been selected for the first round of interviews for the 2010 series of The Apprentice. Now I’d applied for the show as a bit of a joke, especially when Sir Nookie-of-Bear made a direct appeal for hard-luck stories and those of us with small businesses finding it tough.
Initially, I was very excited and geared up for it. Preparations for the shlep to London were drawn up and I was very positive. But then you read through all the condiitions and the prospect of having only having one phonecall to your family per week over the eight-week shooting schedule seemed a little unsavioury and totalitarian to me. What if there’s a family emergency? Do they refuse you the option to leave? It would be tough doing the eight weeks from home, but that limited contact? Not even rapists and murderers get those terms when they make themselves at home in the clink.
I slept on the idea and woke with the conviction that I just can’t go through with it. Not because I’m scared: I’m not. But because I need to be available to my family, especially during October and the filming starts on 21st September.
So Mr Sugar, I will decline your offer and withdraw my application from your competition, making me neither fired, nor hired! A win-win situation, really…

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