Awww crap. Being a self-confessed stat slut, I noticed that someone or something had downloaded my video podcast directly from this site. Of course, it is a very popular item – people like to see my pasty Uncle Fester face looming into view and plonking away unconvincingly on that rubber bass doo-hickey. But on 11 June, there were over 460 downloads of that particular file – this means that already I have used 13Gb of my monthly traffic quota and if traffic continues as projected, I am going to shift 37Gb of data this month and have to pay for it. Pay in blood, my friends. Pay in blood and sweat and tears and other bodily fluids. It’s not going to be pleasant. Oh what to do? I’ve already removed a load of unnecessary files from here – but I don’t want to take down the stuff I do – that’s the whole point of this place. I am in a right ol’ quandry and no mistake.
The weekend consisted of more sitting in the garden quaffing vodka. It’s an interesting drink. It’s not the slow descent I get with whiskey or pints of cider or pissy lager – one minute I am fine and the next, when I am least expecting it and usually three or four drinks down the line…whammmo…I can begin to feel worse for wear. Of course, it could be that I am just a big ol’ pansy. Who knows?
I also discovered that trying to squeeze into an old pair of shorts discarded many years previously is not conducive to one’s reproductive health. As I sat on the grass, strumming me geetar and terrifying the neighbours with looped improvisations (heck, it was a free concert and they should be grateful), the strain on my undercarriage was too much. Eventually I exclaimed “ooooh me ballbags” and ran inside to slip into something a little more comfortable. Damn the Missus for washing my favourite and only pair of shorts that actually fit me. The swine!
Today, I am back in the garden trying to get work done in time for the Missus who is having a break from her work over the next few days. We intend to do exciting stuff. Stuff that is so amazing that your brain would crawl out of your nose in sheer apoplectic exultation to escape your cranium and dance around in front of you singing songs of wonderment and joy. Tomorrow we are heading into town for some fun – shudder – and then we’ll be casting our net further afield later in the week. Don’t worry, I’ll take lots of pictures so you won’t feel left out. Of course, I know that’s there is only three regular readers left. I blame that sunshine…making people want to go outside.
Rant and rave, rant and rave. Just going on to make it look as if something is actually happening here. It isn’t. Back to the vodka, the work and the sunshine. 😉

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