So I watched the second of the debates between Gordy, Nick and Dave. This time everything was razor-sharp enough to slice the corneas from my gloopy eyeballs as I was watching the show on the newly launched Sky News HD. Ahhhh, the joys of High Definition television are still a novelty in this house as we “upgraded” last Christmas when our last satellite box bit the dust and it turned out to be cheaper to upgrade than to get a new box via eBay.
Now when the wind is blowing in the right direction and the broadcasters decide to actually broadcast high-definition content, you can witness the joys of Doctor Who, Come Dine with Me and these Prime Ministerial debates all funky-looking. Yes, the picture is sharp, the colours appear more vibrant and there’s plenty more detail on the screen (down to the level of open pores, hairs descending from nostrils and the texture of fabric). In fact, when they showed “The Robe” in HD over Easter, I cooed more about the detail in the costumes than the actual film itself. I love a good Victor Mature movie – he’s a real dreamboat.
Anyhoo, back to the debate. It was more of the same really and I was surprised that some of the same topics were revisited (war, sleaze, etc) and this took up a lot of the debate. Cameron really doesn’t seem to be projecting in these contests. I am really surprised by this because at PMQs there is a flicker of a personality there, but this time around he really does seem to act like a stuffed suit.
Again, Nicky Clegg – though I’ve been called the three of them Compo, Foggy and Clegg after “Last of the Summer Wine” – put on a brave effort, but you could see his opposition were gunning for him and this time around El Gordo appeared to be taking his performance a lot more seriously. I like Brown’s little talk about our tolerant society and his joke comparing Cameron and Clegg to his naughty son’s arguing in the bath. That joke actually got a considerable snigger from the audience, which was meant to remain dumb.
Of the three, Brown is very much Prime Ministerial material and you can feel his gravitas – while the other two seem a little lightweight in comparison, but the anarchist in me would love the momentum for Clegg to increase and for the British electorate to pull the biggest tactical switch in the history of our parliament and put him in Number 10. I don’t want this because I think the country needs “a change”. I don’t want this to teach Labour a “lesson”. I want this to happen just to see the look on his face when he is ushered onto the steps of Number 10. I can imagine his face plastered with a rictus grin while the voice in his head is screaming: “What the fuck am I going to do nooooooooooow!?!?!?!?!?”
However, I will still be voting for the Labour candidate. Why? Purely because I received today’s copy of “Retail Newsagent” and I absolutely loved the mock-up cover for their election special which had El Gordo photoshopped into the role of a servile newsagent. He felt like one of the boys and for that reason, and that reason alone, I am voting for Gordon. Thanks to some clever Photoshop my political decision has been cast.
But it was interesting to see a report on the ITN Evening News two nights ago where Mr Brown was doing a visit and some disgruntled business owner wanted to see him. This fellow was in a right old state but demanded Brown’s attention, claiming he was doing nothing for a the small businessman and he was due to go bankrupt for the second time (once is unfortunate, twice is bloody irresponsible).
So the Labour team usher the guy inside and after his meeting, the businessman wanders into the light, looking shell-shocked and confused, his demeanour completely changed. He had gone from impotent rage to being as soppy as a box of kittens.
“Well he’s just this guy, you know,” he said (I’m paraphrasing here), “He really does want to make these changes, but he’s just one man. I completely misjudged him”.
It truly was a fascinating piece of TV, the likes of which I’ve never seen before.
Round Two