Another day, another soundscape. This one starts of badly, but towards the end features a sweet flutey bit that works well.

Last night on TV, I watched the fascinating programme by Stephen Fry talking about being bi-polar. While I don’t think I have the condition, I understand the manic phases, the insomnia and the crashing depression. However, when I am up I am incredibly creative and will spend my time pouring myself into the music or whatever takes my fancy at the time and have no time for sleep or anything else. When I am down, a big black cloud descends and I can be a right moping misery for days on end with no energy to do anything. I always thought it was the creative spark at large and not a mental condition. Luckily, having a dog and a strong routine and a sense of optimism has banished the low-points. The thing that got me was when Fry was talking about the self-loathing and he kept reeling off a list of how wretched he was. I thought that was perfectly normal for an Englishman, or was that just me? Again, there was a time when I’d have a mental flash of all the mistakes I’d ever made in my life playback in my head like a flicker book and then I’d privately berate myself for being completely useless. It was a real eye opener, but at least I know I am not bi-polar, as I believe a lot of what happened to me was down to the “Young Man Blues”. As I get older, I am feeling a lot more comfortable in this skin.
And why do I keep getting the urge to write “bear” at the end of bi-polar…?

« »