I had a bit of a disturbed sleep as Alex the Wonderdog decided he would go on full alert mode and would bark at every noise eminating from our leafy Avenue. With every thunderous bark, I believed my heart was going to stop as I was dragged abruptly from sleep. The upshot of this was that I was able to remember a dream.
The dream started off quite normal. Myself and The Missus were househunting and surveying a four-storey townhouse type dwelling. The place was OK-ish and needed some work. Out in the garden, I was greatly impressed with the large pond and Koi carp. The garden was split on two levels and as you rose up, you could see over the back wall to the sea and a beach behind.
Then all of a sudden things got weird as dreams usually do. There was an audible crack and I feel something change. I was no longer me. I felt smaller and younger. The Missus was replaced by a Chinese girl. It quickly came back to me that this was my girlfriend and we’d not been together that long. Suddenly, there was the sound of car doors slamming and raised voices. The girl quickly told me to go inside and so we retreated away from the voices. Inside, she explained that these were the friends she had told me about previously (????). They weren’t particuarly nice people and they were a gang of somesorts and were coming to take over the house. I was confused about the situation, as you would be.
And so the gang arrived. They were non-descript white youths, a mix of male and female. Modern. Good hairstyles, if you know what I mean. These people herded us upstairs and proceeded to yell a lot about betrayal to my chinese girlfriend and how she had let the team down, while gesturing to me. I guess I was the source of the trouble. So we were held prisoner locked in the attic. Time passed and we talked and other stuff happened which I can’t possibly divulge on this family-orientated blog and we hatched a plan to escape.
It seems that she was very athletic and could climb through the small window, flip herself through a lower window and come back to open the door from the outside. This she promptly did and we were free. We were going to head downstairs and escape via the blue sports car on the drive. As we descended, I could hear noises and the gang appeared to be practising gymnastics on one of the floors. It was very strange. They were even dressed in blue leotard-type uniforms.
We snuck past them, but someone must have spotted us as I heard the shout go up and we made a run for it. We made it into the car, but we weren’t quick enough to pull away and the gang surrounded us. The chinese girl was dragged screaming away, back into the house and I was pulled out and given a good kicking by the largest male of the group. He whispered in my ear that if I was ever to return he would kill us both. He pulled out a large knife and brandished it at me. He then stood me up and kicked me away from the car, telling me to go. It was fifteen miles to the nearest train station, he told me.
So I remember walking in the darkness and miles seem to skip past as I was at the station in no time. There was a sharp incline leading up to the entrance and once inside I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of people. Being a smaller person in this dream life, the crowds were a lot taller and more intimidating. I wandered around trying to figure out exactly where I was and how I could get home. I spent ages in the bustling station exploring. There were many restaurants, even a casino, and it seemed to have its own thriving communitiy. Every so often, a whistle would sound and the doors would open allowing freshly alighted commuters to rush through the scene.
I asked where if there was a cab office and the man gave me directions. I followed them litigiously, only to find myself back where I started. I explored some more and thought a lot about my life with the mystery chinese girl. Was this really my life? I could feel elements of Darren seeping back into my character and I urgently wanted to get home to Loughton. I managed to find a quiet ticket area – all the others had been bustling with people – and I attempted to buy a ticket. But I had no idea from where I was travelling. I asked another man who kindly showed me a mechanical machine on the wall for plotting the route home. But as no-one was telling me what station this was, I couldn’t enter a starting point. How can you head from home if you don’t know where you are? And so I talked to a station assistant who gave me a map and I told him where I wanted to go. He replied, “That’s going to cost you £140 from here”. Of course, he was clever not to reveal where “here” was. I didn’t have that kind of money.
In the end, I was overcome by the place and needed to escape, so I back-tracked the entrance and headed away from the station.On the way down the hill, I found myself walking with another man and I asked him if there was a cab office in the town. He said yes and said he’d direct me to it. When we got to this cab office, there was some kind of misunderstanding and they thought I wanted to apply for a job as a cab driver – which is impossible because I don’t drive. I tried to make it clear what I wanted but I got the feeling I wasn’t being heard.
Then came a voice in the distance and I turned around and saw the large fellow who had given me a pummelling. But before I could find out what happened, Alex the Wonderdog barked loudly again and brought me out of the dream.
What a weird one, eh?
(Again, this dream was written down for my own pleasure and for future reference)

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