So you look backwards to go forwards. One of my own favourite lyrics was a for a song I recorded fourteen years ago when I started messing around with a 4-track recorder. In those days, I wasn’t much of a player and it was more about getting ideas down onto tape than anything else. However, I did used to enjoy scribbling lyrics and coming up with these little songs. OK – they weren’t very good. I know that, but it was my hobby and I was learning my instrument. Some may say that what I do at the moment isn’t very good either, but again, it is more about impressing myself than impressing you. Like all of my creative endeavours, I do it for me and no one else.
So the lyric is written and I really like the spirit of the original recording and when I decided that I was to put together a vocal CD for my new set, I knew I wanted to have another crack at this song. I’d been putting it off for many years mainly because I have a poor memory for my own tunes and once they are recorded I often forget how to play them – because I am not a professional player with no need to remember these follies. But with this tune I had to crack it. For the first time, I actually put down the drums and sang a guide vocal so I knew where to put the rest of the instruments. Then the bass and guitar went on next and then the lead instruments. I’d never recorded like this before and was surprised that it worked. Anyway, here is an early mix of the track for your delectation and below that are the lyrics so you can sing along. There is a deep meaning to it and is supposed to examine the omnipotent idea of maleness and one man being able to experience the feelings of all men, but I don’t know if that comes across. Ooooh, to be 21 again and be totally pretentious. 🙂
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The Clock Keeps Ticking
And I sit on the bench and watch the cars go past
And the drivers watching me watching them
And life seems so simple and clear cut
Like a door – open and shut
I try to hide it
I try to hide it well
No one can see it
Only time will tell
I feel so dark
I feel so dirty
I feel so out of my head
I feel I want to hurt you
In the dark
It’s so nice to be in the dark
No one can see my thoughts
Or wonder what I do
Or wonder what I want
And you try to push me away
Here come the words I have given you to say
I try but it never goes away
It swells and rises
And it makes me afraid
You can never predict what shape I’ll take
What form I’ll denigrate
Sometimes I can be so charming
Sometimes I can be a shit
So don’t push me
I said don’t push me
And I get so excited when I smack you to the ground
I get so excited when you’re lying on the ground
I can’t believe this love I’ve found
I’ll pick you up, only to knock you down
Resist me, oh resist me
It’s fun to watch you try
You missed me, oh you missed me
If you want, I’ll make you cry
After the tears
After the bruises
We patch it all up
You’re one of life’s losers
This feeling that comes over me
These waves of violent pleasure
Makes life much more exhilarating
I bet I can’t get you to hate me
After the blood slows down
When the drums stop beating
I feel so ashamed
I just can’t explain
I have all these words
A rich vocabulary
But I just can’t tell you how I feel
In the street at the violet hour
I can see all the paths laid out before me
In the street when the sun goes down
I can see all of time before me
It is everywhere and I want it
You try and stop it, but you can’t get it
And there’s nothing you can do about it
I want them to look at me
I want them to take notice
I want them to myself
I want to show them
In the alleyways
In the park
With my knife in my pocket
My hand on my mask
And the clock starts ticking
The impulses rise behind my eyes
The monotone noise of everybody else’s life
It gets me down
Oh it gets me down
They say the grass is greener on the other side of the fence
Do you dare, oh do you dare
Stray from the track?
To find it covered by tarmac
And you feel the stickiness on your skin
Wipe it away, wipe it away
And you don’t know where it’s been
And you don’t know what’s lurking within
There’s no regrets, no regrets
Till they find their skin drying out
Waking up with the night sweats
Still no regrets
Still no regrets?
And you watch the last chance of a lifetime
Slip between your fingers
The grains of sand from the broken hourglass of your life
Slip away, slip away, slip away
It’s so great to be so fucking normal
The sun rises and the sun sets
The moon comes out
They never forget
And I’m still here
Just sitting on my bench
The cars still going past
And I know these things will always last
And the monotony of living
Is an excuse to carry on?
Why else should I keep breathing?
Why else should I keep thinking?
Why else should I keep dreaming?
Why else does the clock keep ticking?