Well I cut short my viewing of The Apprentice to write this missive and general have a good venting session. Arsehole. Absolute arsehole. Alan Sugar obviously has fluff for brains and proves why the UK version of the show is a shadow of the staggering magnificent beast Stateside hosted by the comically coiffured Donald Trump. Firstly, Trump is a genuine high-flier and not some East End Del Boy Trotter figure and secondly because the decision making process of Sugar is decidedly iffy.
If Michelle Dewberry had faced the wrath of Trump in the US, he would have asked her that despite her event being superior, why her sales were virtually half of her rivals? He would have then grilled her some more, bringing in her team to baste her further, before turning up the heat some more and then firing her. But in the UK, we go for the underdog. We love a good sob story. We love doe eyes and cleavage. We love a loser. Ruth Badger would have won the US purely on the basis of her superior selling skills and the fact that she could sell a terrible event at full markup. That takes some skill. But this is Planet Sugar were we get product placement shots of the failed Amstrad E-Mailer Phone every episode.
I knew Michelle was going to win because it was obvious that Syed would want to knob the winner – he’s that kind of guy, you know. But I thought she might have actually done it with a remarkable whitewash against Ruth. You know…a David vs Goliath conflict. Instead, we got sold short. I like a fair game with a good win, but this was a bit disappointing. Twelve weeks for a bleeding heart story…do you feel cheated? I know I do. But I also realise that I have been spoilt by the sensibility and laser-like logic of the US series.
At the end of the show, I vowed not to watch the next series, preferring to stick to the superior US version. Of course, when the promotional material for the new series makes the rounds early 2007, I’ll be salivating like the Pavlovian dog that I am. Who is the arsehole now, Mr Lock?

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