So where to begin, dear reader? Life here seems to be turning into a rather badly written soap opera. I do not like this at all. My mother works near where I live at at a local newsagents and the fellow who was responsible for the attack on Alex the Wonderdog is a regular customer. She has kept her cool and not said a word to this fellow since the incident. It is not in her interest to do so in her place of work. However, yesterday, dear Mr Idiot of Colebrook Lane began to verbally abuse my 60 year old mother in a shop of customers. It seems that he wasn’t too happy that he was reported to the RSPCA and the Epping Forest Council Dog Warden and had discovered who the lady serving him was. He was not a happy bunny at all. Ahhh, poor liddle soldier. It seems that it was all lies. I was a liar. His dog never attacked my dog. It never happened. His dog was innocently sniffing my dog. And if the attack had happened, then he would have paid my vet’s bill. Hmmm…where to start on that little lot, eh?
Anyway, my mum related all this to me over a cup of tea last night and I told her that I was glad that she got to witness this man’s stupidity close up. At the time of the incident, he was in complete denial that his dog was attacking my dog (despite the screams from Alex) or even attempted to control his dog and that’s why the altercation began that resulted in my finger being bitten. It seems that he is still in denial. She wanted to post the pictures of Alex’s injuries through his letterbox to show what had happened, but I told my mother that there was no point. You cannot win an argument against an idiot. Even if we posted them, he would still deny his dog was responsible and that the blame lay squarely on my shoulders. We have nothing to prove, says I.
The upshot of this is that Mr Idiot told my mother that he has reported me to the police for the incident and so I await the arrival of the boys in blue to cart yours truly away for assault. You will visit me when I go to prison, won’t you?

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