Yesterday evening, there was the most amazing sunset. I snapped off a few photos to capture it. I was in such a rush to do this that I’d selected the wrong settings on my camera, so the pictures came out a little blurred. But it doesn’t really matter as you still get a sense of the colours.


Meanwhile, my thoughts turn to the impending deadline on this place. In about seven days time, my web lease runs out and I’ve got to decide whether or not it is worth paying another £70 per year to keep this site going. Everytime the lease comes to an end I think to myself “Why am I doing this?” and “What exactly is this site for?”.
I think I’ve been running a proper website under my own name for about five years now. In the past, it was meant to be a promotional tool to show prospective employers what I can do and who I’ve written for. However, with the blog culture growing in popularity, I thought I would join that trend. But what is this all for?
Is it to show-off to other people? Possibly.
Is it to be a candid diary? No way, I couldn’t possibly write down how I was really feeling. That would be too much of a turn off.
Are you getting the traffic you want? No, not really. Looking at the various logs and that, the only people who come here are those looking for Nookie Bear, blowjobs, Ronnie Barker’s Fork Handles script, Robert Fripp and Kate Bush. (That last sentence will have sent Google into an apoplexy). I’m not sure how much of the traffic that comes here actually comes here to read about me and the projects I am doing. I think it is very little.
And so I have to decide whether or not to pack this up once and for all and give up on the great web experiment and do something completely different instead. The easiest course of action is to pay the man his money and continue. The hardest course would be to give up completely.
To say I am jaded and cynical about the Internet would be true. While it has given me the opportunity to harrass and upset many people with my online persona, my music and other witterings, I’ve not really got much back in return with all the time, energy and money I’ve invested in it. In fact, some aspects of online life gives me a nasty taste in the mouth.
But what to do, what to do?
If I was a better man I would give up right now and invest my time where it is needed: in my creative endeavours, the place where I am most happy, lost in writing or recording or whatever.
I just need the strength to cut my credit card and turn off the virtual lights as it were.

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