The theme of the day: door handles.
With DIY giant “Homebase” offering a 10% discount, me and The Missus decided to grab some cheap brass door handles for the newly-repainted doors I had finished several weeks ago. (Yes, we’ve been living in a house without door handles all this time, which suits Alex the Wonderdog just fine as he doesn’t have to ask us to ease his passage through the house as the handleless doors upstairs are left ajar).
We purchased some handles and brass keyhole covers, but it turns out they were the wrong size. Not a problem, we returned them. However, we’d managed to make a mistake when buying the replacement handles and needed to replace them again. Ho, ho, ho. Back to Homebase again. This is why I don’t do DIY – because I am a moron. The devil is in the detail. Anyway, handles are fitted to doors and I can now have a movement with the door closed – so that’s my fun spoilt!
Keeping with the door theme, a joke.
Q. When’s a door not a door?
A. When it’s ajar!
I love those old jokes.
Also yesterday, we’ve been splashing the cash and bought a new radio for the kitchen. The radio reception in our area is “piss-poor” – trust me, that’s a technical term and in order to enjoy the various broadcasts out there, we decided to finally invest in a new player. So we bought a DAB one. DAB or Digital Audio Broadcast is digital radio and so there’s no hiss, cracks, pops or farts. However, you STILL have to get a good signal for the thing to work so this involved me trailing the wire antenna behind the kitchen shelves. It’s a very nice unit though and I thoroughly recommend it especially for all those “new” stations you would normally need the Internet to access such as BBC Radio 6 and 7. The purchase of this new sound system gave me an excuse to terrorise The Missus with my own music on CD over a cup of tea. Ah…in sickness and in health, for poorer and poorer, with good music and bad…It’s good to have a captive audience.
Talking of audiences…are you a musician and ever wanted to shoot your audience? Well now you can with the MIDI Gun. Those crazy kids…I remember when MIDI devices had black and white keys.
Meanwhile, while out shopping yesterday, I realised that my entire personality is based on TV catchphrases gleaned from watching too much TV. My current favourite TV show is the comedy programmed “The Mighty Boosh”, which can only be described as “The Goodies” on hallucinatory chemicals. And so I have been wandering around saying things like:
“My legs are my best feature. I have the legs of a young antelope.”
“You’re ‘aving a larf. This is an outrage.”
“I’m old Gregg. Wanna drink Baileys from a shoe? Wanna go to a party where people wee on each other? I love you…I wanna hurt you.”
Etc.
I desperately, urgently need to get a life. The past three years of captivity has softened my credentials somewhat.
Anyway, you watch episodes of “The Mighty Boosh” courtesy of the BBC website…you know where to go. Just look in the TV section and you’ll find them there episodes. It’s all part of the BBC’s digital strategy to get TV shows online. Bravo, say I, but ditch the crappy RealMedia and make so we can download them and watch them on our widescreen TVs when we want to. Afterall, we DO actually pay for all those TV shows…so techincally they belong to us. 😉

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