I’ve known that I am a father-to-be since the end of 2006, but there’s nothing like seeing your unborn child in front of you courtesy of an ultrasound scan. Now you might think that you’ve felt every emotion going: love, hate, fear, joy, laughter, tears, abject misery, grief, mourning, euphoria, but nothing prepares you for that moment. Just when you think all the doors in your brain have been opened, something as wonderful as that ultrasound scan opens up that final door.
And so I sat there, having a much better view than The Missus, who had to lie down on the couch and not move and I saw the sound waves cut invisibly through the tissue and fat to rebound off this living being inside my wife. The sonic reflection doesn’t paint the most perfect of pictures, but if you have half an imagination and have seen enough nature/health programmes on the TV, you have a pretty good idea of what you are seeing.
I could see the body, the arched spine, the skull, limbs (1-2-3-4) and a pulse that signified that this was life. The foetus moved and twitched slightly and in my imagination I was sure that I saw it playing air guitar. (And I hate referring to the foetus as an it – it is a he or she, depending on my mood). So here he was. This was the great masterplan reaching its next stage. This was the moment I was put on this earth for. And it makes you feel very, very humble. All the crap and nonsense you’ve done gets reduced to its component parts: crap and nonsense. All the time you’ve wasted on selfish folly, all the pointless words and music, all the money spent and beer consumed and good times had are swept away by this tiny little life.
Yes, I admit that I had to stifle a tear, but I let my eyes get moist on the journey home in the car, where I protested that I had got some dust in my eyes to The Missus. She laughed and cooed at me. During the scan, the sonographer seemed a little concerned because the baby didn’t seem to want to move. She pushed and prodded and poked with her jelly-lubricated probe. Eventually, she got the measurements she wanted after The Missus was forced to lie on her side.
“This baby is being lazy and stubborn today,” said the sonographer.
That’s when I knew that baby-to-be was a chip off the old block. 🙂
Now I can’t claim to see the future, but I have a fair idea of what comes next. However, one can’t be too proud or too knowing for you never know what cards fate might deal you. I live in hope and optimism and lose sleep at night praying that everything will be OK. We’ve still got a long way to go down this particular road, but at least we have a map and compass and support from family and well-wishers to propel us forward.
Exciting, isn’t it?

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