The old saying is: “They only come out at night” and last night proved the adage to be quite true. We were four fifths through our late night walkies with Alex the Wonderdog and the Capmeister General when in the distance I spied an alarming sight.

At first, I thought the man in the distance was wearing white trousers, but as my bespectacled eyes focussed in the darkness, I could see that this man was naked from the waist down, apart from his socks. For the record, he was walking nonchalantly down Goldingham Avenue at about 11.30pm as if nothing was amiss. There was no scurrying into the darkness to preserve his modesty or any about his appearance to say that this behaviour was anything but normal. Over his right arm was slung his jeans and underpants and in his left hand he held his shoes.

So what’s the story? Is he a lover who has fled the scene after the unexpected arrival of the cuckold husband? Did he do a runner out of the window like Robin Askwith in one of those crazy “Confessions” films of the 1970s? Perhaps, he was a peeping tom and having a crafty wank whilst spying trough his victims window? Perhaps he was a sexual deviant who got his kicks from displays of exhibitionism? Or maybe he was really forgetful and only just remembered to put his trousers on.

As we moved closer, the man leant against the wall between the two blocks of flats in that road and leant against the wall for balance as he slid on his underpants and trousers. He saw us and then scarpered into the night still holding his shoes in his hand. As he fled, I made a quip about the dogs being hungry. Anyhow, you don’t expect to see a stranger’s cock and balls whilst out walking the dogs. The guy himself was white, a little podgy, dark shortish hair, probably 30-35, about 5’6″ to 5’8″ and was wearing a dark top. This is for the record just in case there are any reports of any wrongdoing in the area on Friday 1 December 2006 at 11.30pm.

Meanwhile, the blog has been quiet because frankly I don’t feel like writing anything down. It is that time of the year and things are in decline. In less than a month, I’ve seen all my regular avenues for writing work dry up and I head towards 2007 with no work forthcoming. This is not the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last. The trick is survival and such is the business of a self-employed freelance writer. It is a tough business and you are only as good as your last commission.

Last week, I received a call from Gemma at the BBC. At first, I thought it might have been about a job, but it turns out she was calling from the Mastermind office. In January, I applied to go on the quiz show because I thought I should do something exciting with my year. They wanted me to audition this coming Monday, but I gracefully declined as I no longer felt mentally prepared for the challenge. I said I’d apply again when I was ready while lying that I was too busy to attend. The Missus said I was a fool for turning it down, but my brain doesn’t work too well in the darker months – I need sunlight to thrive!

Good job I did turn it down because during the course of this week I have been suffering from a bad ear infection. My left ear is swollen and painful and sometimes, if I am lucky, oozes. Nice! It is so painful I cannot sleep on it and it is impossible to wear headphones for any period of time. I am hoping it dries out and cures itself. In the meantime, I am feeling sick and giddy like a schoolgirl with a crush on the local hunk. However, I think this is down to the ear infection and not being in love. 🙂

So The Missus bought me my Xmas present early. It was that acoustic guitar we saw the last time we went to Bluewater and we managed to pick up one from a German music store for a £90 saving. Result! The guitar arrived and I was meant to open it for Xmas, but the outer box had some damage and The Missus insisted I check it out to see if the guitar was OK. Well, luckily the instrument was well packaged and is in pristine condition. It is a lovely guitar and I recommend the Fender GDC-100 SCE. I should do a review or something. The new acoustic has strengthened my left hand and I started a little recording. The following is a very short demo of a track I am working on. It’s only a snippet so don’t think it is in anyway the finished article.


Direct download: CLICK HERE

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