WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ENTRY HAS AN IMPOTENT RAGE RATING OF 9 OUT OF 10
This morning, my mother had very kindly dropped off a copy of The Observer’s Music Monthly magazine through our door. While I had been fairly laid-back about getting a copy, she said that she would slip a spare issue out if they had any left over in the shop. So while I scoffed me cornflakes, I read the main interview with Thom Yorke from Radiohead. As I worked my way through the piece, I realised why I have become so disinfranchised with the whole music “scene.” In the past, I was the kind of guy who you couldn’t take into HMV because I spend a good hour in there pouring over the racks before coming out with cash spent and a little blue plastic bag full of goodies. Last week, I went into HMV and Virgin in Norwich and couldn’t even face looking at the shelves. It all leaves me cold.
So anyway, back to the wonkey-eyed whinger…in the interview, Thom Yorke dribbles on about global warming, Iraq, the government, capitalism and free-trade and the self-same student bollocks he’s been wittering on for years. All the time, we know that he is part of the system already. He is the one who spends vast amounts of money on world tours, using phenomenal amounts of carbon-based fuel to propel him and his band from continent to continent, causing irreversible damage to the environment and climate, to the nuclear power stations that power their events, to the corporates who sponsor the events and sell Coca-ColaTM at £5 a carton. The biggest irony, when it comes to the eco-friendly musicians, is that their product itself is incredibly toxic. You have a CD or LP, which is made from oil, with a silver substrate which won’t degrade, which is housed in either a paper sleeve (with paper made from trees and often bleached, more environmental damaged) or a plastic jewel case, which is made from more oil. The only good thing about digital downloads is that they are the greenest form of music other than live perfomance with an acoustic instrument.
At least, Thom Yorke admits he’s a hypocrite, but he’s still part of the system. He is still part of the capitalistic machine that sells the product. He is the product. You’ve already sold yourself, son, so shut up and take the dollar bill. So you sit there and you read this guy venting, a musician who hasn’t made a decent record since 1997, despite what the fawning critics might say, throwing their hands to heaven and praising skittering dross like “Hail to the Chief” and “Amnesiac” in fits of masturbatory joy, and you think to yourself: “Is it me. Or has the whole fucking world gone mad?” This guy isn’t a genius – his band is just a three chord rock band who managed to find oblique time signatures and Krautrock to pilfer. Why is this guy still here? Why are the music press still writing about them?And why is he still wittering on about problems of which he is part? More importantly, what the fuck am I doing wasting my time reading this?
Moan about the environment = stop travelling and burning valuable fuel to promote your folly.
Moan about slave labour = stop buying imports (even the Fair Trade crap which is just as exploitative) and buy local produce.
Moan about capitalism = withdraw your financial support and basically go live up a tree.
Moan about the government = become active at a local level because that’s how change occurs.
Moan about Iraq = strap explosives to yourself, book that meeting with Blair and press the red button at the appropriate moment. It won’t change anything but at least we’ll have got rid of two knobs at the same time.
Of course, I am just being an extreme reaction to his views because it makes fun reading – this is dark humour, you know. While I totally understand the necessity to be passionate about the things you care about, people like Thom Yorke are in the best position to organise, mobilise and change things. Yet they never seem to be able to deliver. It’s Bob Geldof-syndrome all over again, I guess. While well-meaning, their actions never actually achieve the aim. While Live8 was a great idea, it was poorly executed (no black artists – crap, get Gabriel on the blower and get him to call his coloured chums for a knees-up down his way). What did it actually achieve? Greater awareness? Did the politicians listen? In that instance, the decisions had already been made – so Geldof was really just having a big party.
You cannot achieve global change. No one can – only Mother Nature herself – or a random accidental asteroid in collision course with Earth – or a tiny virus with the capability of killing all human life – or a crazed man with the button and the nuclear warheads ready to go. But you can change the little things, make small incremental changes at a local level and if you are successful, these will move out to other areas, like ripples on a still pond after you’ve just thrown that pebble. I just wish these self-aware, almost saintly, musicians would just get on with what they are paid to do – make music. The Geldofs, Yorkes and (spit) Bonos of this world could change things if they really wanted. They have the money to do it. They could, if they so wished, raise a guerilla army and liberate the oppressed masses in West Africa. But they won’t, because that would actually mean doing something instead of bleating to the newspapers and having a platform to sell more product.
Of course, the reason I get riled when these rock stars open their gob and expect me to stop buying South African bananas goes back to that bloody St Bono and the time when appearing at a charity gala with Pavarotti, he paid something like £1200 to have his favourite trilby hat flown from Ireland to Italy. That must have been a pretty special hat. Think of all the African children the money could have saved?
Another strand of the interview portrayed Thom Yorke as a tortured soul, forever worried about the state of the world. For fuck’s sake, grow up man! Why worry about things you have no control of? Maybe I’ve got it wrong – I tend to worry about whether or not I locked the back door when I take the dog out for a walk – but I think that the environment will take care of itself. Mother Nature will wipe us out and start again when we’ve outlived our usefulness, much like what happened to the dinosaurs. You can’t change the fundamental nature of mankind – modern man is greedy, stupid and selfish with power and wealth being a corrupting influence. While being poor doesn’t automatically make you a saint, it does give you some humility which is greatly lacking in this world.
Anyway, I am not sure exactly what that rant was about. I know it started off about Thom Yorke, but I let my fingers run away from me. Anyway, I’m glad I sold my Radiohead records bar the good one.

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