April 2005 Archives

What can I say? When I was about ten years old, I was first exposed to the works of Douglas Adams. First it was via the TV shows, then the books and eventually the radio plays - so I kind of did it arse about face. During a run of the TV shows, I contracted chicken-pox and suffered for a fortnight, but that programme got me through and I loved how so knowingly clever it all was. Hitch-Hikers, like Dr Who, was a thing that I loved in my childhood, but both are having a resurrection, so at the moment, I am feeling a little bit like and eleven year old again. It's bloody brilliant!

Back to the movie. There's been a lot written by the "fans" about this film and most of it has been bad. This is a shame, because I thoroughly enjoyed this new version of the classic. Firstly, I wasn't expecting a complete conversion of the book, I wanted something NEW and FRESH and that's what I got. Not a crusty adaptation of a 30 year old book where the everyman Englishman was ever-so middle-class and had a tea fetish. I could never identify with the old Arthur Dent because he was so far removed from my experience, but I like the new Arthur Dent played by Martin Freeman who sums up his modernity towards the end of the film when he says: "I could murder a cuppa". Too right, Arthur. :-)

Anyway, the film radically departs from the book, leaving a lot of the oh-so clever, self-reverential words behind and instead taking a more filmatic journey through the HH universe. I think the fans that complained about this film wanted large chunks of the text projected onto the screen so they could read and giggle along - alas, movies do not work like that. They are a visual medium (no shit, Einstein). The story cracks on at a frightening pace and it is not long before we are into the action. It certainly was the fastest 109 minutes I've spent in a cinema. The special FX are absolutely excellent and I absolutely adore the new Marvin robot, voiced by Alan Rickman. All the cast work well with Sam Rockwell nailing it as the shallow, vain and frankly stupid Zaphod Beeblebrox. Some of the new ideas, like the point-of-view gun are inspired and I liked it how the white mice are more malevolent in this version of the story.

When the opening banjo plucks of "Journey of the Magi" began to play, all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. It was fantastic. Granted, some of my favourite passages weren't included, but it doesn't matter. This is a new film aimed at an audience who hasn't read the books. My only major gripe was that there wasn't enough from the Guide itself, voiced by the superb Stephen Fry. I thought Mos Def did a great job as a spaced-out Ford and Zooey Deschanel made a very attractive Trillian. A lot as been made of the "romantic" thread in the film, but I thought it was OK. If you are the last two humans left alive after the destruction of Earth, it's only natural that you might want to "get it on". Am I right or am I right? ;-) Bill Nighy makes a great Slartibartfast and the journey through the planet workshop on Magreathea is the film's money shot. I really liked that bit and the bit when they activated Earth Mk II. Fantastic!

This film was made for the next generation of fans-to-be and luckily, we had some ten year olds sitting in the row in front of us. It was cool because I was that age when I first got introduced to this work. The kids laughed at the jokes, loved the whale and let our a roar when the mice shouted "Bollocks!" and got squished. As the curtain came down, they looked like they enjoyed the film and I was left hopeful that they would investigate the source. The only people complaining were the fat, flabby-arsed, unattractive anoraks we heard outside moaning about the fact that not enough money was spent on Zaphod's second head. For fuck's sake, get a life. It's a movie. It either entertained you or it didn't.

I was entertained. For my money, I got 109 minutes of entertainment. OK - it's not wet-your-pants funny, but then HH wasn't like that for me. It's more a wry smile "that's very clever" kind-of-funny. When it finished, there was a final, very quick, shot of Douglas Adams' face zooming off the screen and my eyes went a little moist. It was my love of Douglas Adams and Harry Harrison that made me start writing sci-fi stories when I was a nipper and caused me to vow that I wanted to be a writer. I liked this film a lot and it saddens me to think that a lot of fans who's minds are stuck in 1977 or 1981 won't realise that this movie wasn't actually made for them.

I loved it and can't wait to own it on DVD. Please, I hope that enough people see this film so that the DisneyCorpTM decides to make "Restaurant at the End of the Universe".

Blimey - diary entries are like buses...wait ages and two come along at once. Anyway, for the loyal reader who visits everyday, here's a demo of a track I recorded last night/this morning before I went to bed. It's called "Eastern Pipes" and the percussion loops is by me and it is more of a sketch than a fully-fledged track. I'll subsequently re-record this and develop the idea. This is how I work now...I record a couple of demo passes, trying out some ideas and then go for a proper take. Of course, sometimes I end up using the demo if it is that good. Anyway, I am gibbering...here's da toon:

It's only seven days till the UK elections, but seeing as you can't vote for me to be your benevolent dictator, I would suggest that you vote for this fellow instead:

Apparently, that song makes a small cameo in the new "Hitch-Hikers" film. It's by Neil Hannon from The Divine Comedy and a couple of guys from Travis. Well it made me smile and it has got me all juiced up for my visit to the cinema to see the movie itself. I can't wait! :-)

While out walking Alex the Wonderdog this Sunday lunchtime, we happened to spy a couple on the green area opposite our house "getting it on". It wasn't exactly the weather for it, but these people (not sure if they were man & woman, woman & woman or man & man) were dressed conservatively and wearing hoods. But despite this fact, there was plenty of dry-humping going on. We diverted our gaze and continued with our walk, but as our projected route arced round back to the house, The Missus was sure that she saw one of the couple giving the other a blow-job. All this on a Sunday afternoon - normally I have to trawl the Internet for a cheap thrill, but now it is happening just a stone's throw from the house. It's not the first time this has happened. Because we live in a fairly secluded area, couples having illicit affairs have used our road as a spot to "get it on". This has happened during the day time (middle-aged couples copping a feel on a Friday lunchtime, out of sight of their work colleagues) to the youngsters steaming up their Vauxhall Nova's windows at 11pm at night. We've seen it all and the remains of their spent passion the next morning. Ho hum...get a hotel room, fer Christ's sake.

As for this lunchtime, at least it gave all the other dog-walkers something to look at..

I love Genesis. And I love the Lamb album. In fact, “The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway” was the very first Genesis album I ever bought. It was around the time of the Peter Gabriel “So” album and I heard that he was in this other band before he went solo. So I read up in the NME Encyclopaedia of Rock and discovered that the Lamb was regarded as their pinnacle recording and that PG left soon after. I bought my copy on cassette from WH Smith in Romford during the Whitsun school holidays. I hate Romford, but the record shops made it bearable for a 15-year-old me. I played the album obsessively trying to figure out what it all meant, not having the luxury of an inner sleeve or the background story that came with the album. But it had me hooked and I became a Genesis fan.

I’m a (relatively) young whippersnapper when it comes to Genesis and I never saw them play live in the 1970s. I saw them on the “We Can’t Dance” tour and the highlight was always the old medley. In 2002, we caught “The Musical Box” when they performed at The Royal Albert Hall. I am not a fan of tribute acts, but I heard that this band were something else. And they are. They aren’t a tribute band as such, they are more a theatrical recreation of a moment in time. The moment in time is a Genesis concert from the 1970s. The “Selling England By the Pound” gig we saw that the RAH was fantastic and we even got to see Steve Hackett play an encore with the band, so when I heard that they were performing the Lamb, I was really excited. I didn’t want to see them at the RAH again, instead I opted for the Cambridge Corn Exchange, thinking it would be a more intimate performance.

Cambridge is about 45 minutes drive away from us and after getting lost on the Cambridge Ring Road, we arrived at the venue with 15 minutes to spare. However, we soon discovered that the band would be going on stage 15 minutes later than planned. Not a problem as we would slink off into a nearby pub for a drink to waste the extra time. The pubs were thrumming and we had a quick pint of cider, before taking in a few of the sites of the shopping precinct/square near the venue. We headed back in time to buy a programme and take our seats. I wasn’t too pleased with where we were, as the balcony at the Cambridge Corn Exchange is angled slightly too shallow, so you can see the top of people’s heads blocking the stage. If the angle had been a degree or two sharper, things would have been fine, but they weren’t. So I did a bit of stretched and discovered that my slouching was hiding an extra inch or two of neck length. Click! I could see the stage. The Missus wasn’t so lucky, lots of craning left and right for her.

The opening tinkles of The Lamb began and everyone cheered. Except me. I quickly realised that this was the worse sound system that I had ever heard. There was no PA system serving the balcony, so it felt that we were watching another audience enjoying The Musical Box. A lady behind me was very annoyed by the low level of the music and went downstairs to complain. It’s a shame because The Musical Box are a top band, but where we were sitting, their attempts to recreate sonic history was reduced to musical mush. Cup your hands over your mouth and sing “And the Lamb…lies down…on Broooaadwayyy!” and you’ll understand what we were hearing.

Not to be disheartened by the poor view and crappy sound, I began to tap my legs and jigger in my seat and sing along. Unfortunately, the sound was so low that everyone could hear me and not the band. The Missus asked me to stop – I was making a scene. “But I always sing along,” I replied. Not tonight…I was too loud. So I found it hard to get behind the music. But I still tapped and jiggered and enjoyed the unfolding story of Rael and his journey through the Underworld.

I thought it was all very clever, the way the projections worked with the songs, the props and the energy of lead singer Denis Gagne. The music was good too with only a few duff guitar notes and keyboard fluffs along the way. But with the sound mix as it was, it was barely noticeable. I must say that the drummer on this tour is spectacular. He is absolutely amazing and from our vantage point, looked like Phil Collins. He had the moves and the swagger down to a tee. Superb.

The stage show went well and I couldn’t get over how complex it all was. It was simple in its execution, but there was a lot of ideas being thrown at the audience. Do you listen to the words, the music, take in the projections, watch the lead singer…boy, it was a real sensory overload. The music was absolutely top-notch, but there was a few moments when I couldn’t hear the singer – there was an audible drop in sound. I loved the use of the fire effect during Back in NYC and this has to still be one of my favourite Genesis tunes. Of course, the Lamia and Slipperman costumes steal the day…very clever stagecraft, even if it is a little cheesey in the 21st century. I thought the final flash and the two Peter Gabriels before “IT” was superb. I briefed the Missus to look out for that and we tried to guess which one was the dummy. It was impossible to tell. And then the show was over – it was the quickest 90 minutes of concert I had ever seen. Highlights were the guitar solo for “Fly on a Windshield”, “Broadway Melody of 1974” and jamming on “The Waiting Room.” Singing along to this stuff and getting a mental picture of that tour was splendid. I’d waited a long time to put the imagery to the music.

The band returned to the stage to perform an encore. It consisted of “The Musical Box” and “Watcher of the Skies”. I’d heard them perform these songs before, but to keep authenticity, the arrangements seemed a little different and Gagne’s performances were more muted than during the “Selling England by the Pound” performance. I wasn’t sure if this was part of the act or whether he was worn out. Anyway, I loved those two old tunes and was surprised to see the amount of people who left before the encore…mind you, the record for people leaving was broken tonight by the four men who left soon after “Fly on a Windshield” – they left never to return. Obviously they didn’t like the sound either.

I had a quick toilet break during one of the instrumental pieces and had a listen on the floor to the sound and it was completely different. It was much better, in fact. I wish we’d got tickets in the stalls and not in the balcony, because the Cambridge Corn Exchange as venue did The Musical Box a great disservice tonight. A great gig, shame about the lack of PA in the balcony.

The great thing about having a website is you can see which search strings are leading people to your site. When someone types in "Darren Lock" in Google or MSN Search, the idea is that it should lead them here. But other, more random, search strings are leading people here. And so I present:

Darren Lock's Website Top 16 Search Strings

1 2 11.11% cottaging blog uk
2 2 11.11% darren wacky world blog
3 1 5.56% acoustisynth
4 1 5.56% ashbory
5 1 5.56% darren lock
6 1 5.56% download shatner rocket man
7 1 5.56% emerson lake
8 1 5.56% emerson lake and palmer rotating piano
9 1 5.56% free novel
10 1 5.56% laptop battery regeneration
11 1 5.56% rhythm buddies
12 1 5.56% rhythm buddy loops
13 1 5.56% shatner 1978 rocket man smoking
14 1 5.56% the long hello mp3
15 1 5.56% the office an american workplace video clips
16 1 5.56% zoom 9000 pictures

The first one disturbs me. Cottaging blog? Could it be that a random combination words is leading young fellows here looking for outdoor bum-fun? We'll have none of that sort of thing here, you know. Despite the nail hardening polish, I am not that kind of guy, thankyouverymuch. But seeing this list made think that if I slip in some random popular phrases it will lead more traffic to the site. So here is a list of words that will get Google's knickers in a twist:

boston marathon amityville horror britney spears vida guerra nelly irs lance armstrong pontiac solstice ufc wholphin

This list was generated by the Google Zeitgest Archive which can be found here: http://www.google.com/press/zeitgeist

Now I can just sit back and wait for all that extra traffic to come through the virtual door... :-)

Busy, busy, busy...I've got lots of work to get through this week (which is a good thing).

I recently purchased a Sony MiniDisc player courtesy of Amazon for a really good price. We needed a recorder for journalistic purposes as our old MD recorder departed a long time ago and our USB MP3 Player/Recorder can be a bit temperamental when recording with an external microphone - not good for telephone interviews. So I purchased this NetMD player for £40. Now you can export MP3 files on to MiniDisc with the supplied software and I even put my own music on the player as an audio test. I was immediately struck by how superior the sound playback was. In fact, I was so enamoured by the Sony MD player, I have purchased another one. This one uses the HiMD format meaning you can store up to 1Gb of data on a disc - plus you can use it as a USB storage device. My old USB MP3 player is going up on eBay. It was fun while it lasted but my ears are telling me it has to go.

In the post: Horizons (DVD) - Steve Hackett. Managed to purchase this from eBay for £4. This a show filmed at the Birmingham Studios in 1991 (or thereabouts). I have the original TV broadcast somewhere in the Darren Lock video archive. Nice to have it on DVD, anyway.

Now a confession. I am a chronic nailbiter. There...I've got it out of the way. I haven't always bitten my fingernails, but over the past couple of years this habit has got worse. I do it when I am stressed - I often do it and I am completely unaware. The habit got so bad that my fingertips were getting sore. This is no good if you use a keyboard or play the guitar. The Missus, with foresight and some great logic, bought me some nail hardener at the weekend and I have been using this to deter my nail biting. The stuff makes my nails all shiny (no sniggering at the back - I am 100% all-man...grrrrrr) but when I put my hands to my mouth, I can smell the chemical smell of the nail hardener and it gives me that psychological jolt to take my hands away from my mouth. Clever, eh? So for the first time in half a decade, I am actually growing some fingernails. Next week, I might even put on some black fingernail polish! [JOKE]

I've seen some crap on eBay, but this has to take the prize.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2913&item=7150895746&rd=1

The Missus and myself enjoyed the Steve Hackett Trio at the QEH so much that when we realised that he was playing a mere 30 minutes drive away, we snapped up tickets immediately (and they were considerably cheaper than the QEH tix). We'd never been to the Broadway Theatre before, but I had heard that it was a relatively new building. Despite our complete lack of knowledge of the Barking area, we found the theatre quite easily and were a good twenty minutes early for the performance. This gave us time to check out the lavatories (in very good condition) and the rest of the facilities (there was a bar and a little cafe area and balcony). The venue itself is rather nice, if a little "blocky" and modern in construction and I was a bit jealous that Barking should have such a building when our local council can barely manage to keep the over-budget, over-schedule public swimming pool from closing down. :-(

Anyway, we were in row C, which gave a nice view of the stage, just above eye-level of the performers. There was plenty of leg-room and I was surprised just how many people had turned up for this concert. Then I noticed a familiar looking chap and his lady friend take a seat next to the Missus. After much sideways looking and discreet peeping, I whispered to the Missus that "it's that bloke...that bloke from the Steve Hackett Band". Basically, Terry Gregory, the current bass player from the electric Steve Hackett Band was sitting right next to her. We argued in whispers whether it was him or not (until later, when SH himself put us right by announcing Mr Gregory's presence).

Just after 8pm, SH took the stage and I immediately noticed that the atmosphere was very different from the QEH show. It wasn't as supporting...in fact, the audience felt nervous, not knowing how to respond to SH's little anecdotes. At the QEH, there was plenty of applause and laughter, at Barking, there were little applause for the anecdotes and just a little laughter. Of course, this could just be a volume thing as there was only a fraction of the audience present compared to the QEH gig.

The setlist was almost identical to the previous show. The guitar seemed to keep its tune a bit better too. I was just getting into the music, when a gruff voice came from over my left shoulder. Some oaf who was as pissed as a fart, was effing and blinding during the show. So in the right ear I had the gentle strains of SH's acoustic guitar and in the left ear, a stream of coarse, East-End styled, expletives. Now don't get me wrong - I am an East End boy myself and I like to swear just like the next man (you bunch of bloody buggers, you <--- SEE) but this was SOOOO wrong. There were kids present and I could feel the energy just disappearing. Terry Gregory seemed visibly riled by the man and I thought at one point he was going to say something. Eventually the man calmed down, but throughout the evening the show was punctuated with phrases such as "fucking twat" and "he's a fucking cunt". Astounding...never heard anything like it, even at a "proper" rock concert.

After forty or so minutes, SH retired and we had the interval. We went out to stretch out legs and check out the rest of the theatre before returning to our seats. The second half seemed much more pumped up and the audience seemed to get behind the music a lot more (plus the increased volume drowned out Mr Beery Sweary behind me. Again, the setlist was almost identical with a few tweaks here and there. "Hands of the Priestess" and "Jacuzzi" are still my favourite songs of the night, along with "Gnossienne #1". By the end of the concert, the crowd was well into the music and we coaxed them back for an encore.

This gig was very different from the QEH, it seemed a lot more relaxed and the banter between SH and Roger King and his brother, John Hackett was a lot funnier. There were some corking gags, like the one from Roger King comparing Steve Hackett to "Jasper Carrott on Horlicks" and that SH has pioneered "sit down" comedy. It was very funny. They even managed to have a sly dig at Terry Gregory saying that they could make bass sounds without the need of a bass player. Ouch! Terry Gregory's lady friend replied to Roger King's little knock with a spirited "The bastard!". Yes it was that kind of concert.

I don't normally see the same gig twice, but hearing SH a second time really got me into the music (despite the services of the swearing oaf in row D) and I am glad we did it. Afterwards, I went to the merchandise stand where Alan "Super Genesis Fan" Hewitt was hawking some SH goods. I bought a copy of the DVD "Hungarian Horizons", shook Mr Hewitt by the hand and wished him well with his biography of Hackett.

Then we stumbled off into the night for the return trip home.

To begin, I am not the biggest ELP fan around. Granted I own all the albums on vinyl and thought that they were pretty cool when I was a younger man, but like all things you enjoyed when you were younger, you grow, develop, broaden your tastes. My main problem with ELP is that it demonstrates all that’s bad in progressive rock. The music is overblown, pompous and like a quickie at McDonald’s, ultimately unrewarding. But saying that, I still enjoy Greg Lake’s vocals and the songs that he brought to the group. It’s a shame that he was never allowed to shine in ELP – instead Keith Emerson decided that it was his ego trip.

So will this opinion flavour my review? No. And I’ll tell you why. The people who put this DVD together got the package right on the button. The first disc contains all those old live performances from Beat Club and snatches of live material taken from the group’s hey-day in the 1970s. It’s all good stuff and seeing as I wasn’t witness to ELP’s shows, it was a real insight to how the band operated on stage. Of course, the real gem on the first disc is the 60 seconds or so of black-and-white footage snatched at the 1969 Hyde Park performance of King Crimson. I already have this in another form, but it is nice to have a complete, DVD quality snapshot of that footage. It is slight and it is gone in a flash, but if you are a KC fan, you will want this collection just for that brief dalliance with 21st Century Schizoid Man.

The rest of the material covers 1970 at Beat Club through to a 1992 performance at the Royal Albert Hall, so you get a good snapshot of the band through the ages. There are even promos for “I Believe in Father Christmas” and a really naff 1970s TV performance of “Tiger in the Spotlight” featuring a real tiger tethered up, right next to Greg Lake. What would the animal rights crusaders think of that now? When Emerson comes clunking in with his god-forsaken Hammon organ, the poor tiger gets startled and you can see that he wants to try and take Emerson out…and I was cheering for the tiger. But alas, that doesn’t happen. J

The second disc is a game of two halves: the first is the full 44 minute performance from the California Jam of 1974. It’s good to see an entire performance rather than the patchwork of material that you get on disc one, but my minor criticism is that there is some crossover of material with edits of Still You Turn Me On and Karn Evil 9 appearing on both discs. This was wasteful – but that’s ELP, I guess. The performance at the California Jam is fascinating to watch and when you think of what the other prog bands were doing in 1974, going to an ELP show must have been something else. You even get to see Keith Emerson performing his hammy “spinning piano” trick at the end. Hilarious…I’ve never laughed so much in my life. Genesis had theatricals and flash powder, Yes had Roger Deans organic stag set and ELP had a rotating piano. Amazing.

The second part of the second disc is given over to the “Beyond the Beginning” documentary that lasts an hour. It’s interesting to hear the band talk about each other so candidly and the reasons why and how the band imploded. (It’s also interesting to hear about Love Beach and why it is such a dog’s breakfast). I really enjoyed the documentary, though I thought it could have been longer. It left me wanting more, so I guess that’s a good thing. There are some extras too including a nice short interview about the ELP artwork (did you know that three artists that worked on Greg Lake-related album artwork all died prematurely? It’s the curse of Greg Lake, I tells ya).

I think that this is a fantastic package of material and hope that band’s like Genesis, Yes and King Crimson take note. Bring out a DVD of all that old live material from the 1970s that appeared on TV to stop those bootleggers flogging it on eBay. And do a second DVD with an interview…it works so well and ELP have set a good standard with this package. Heck, it even got me playing Tarkus this morning while I type this review. And that’s got to be a good thing!

To get you in the mood and all juiced up for the release, here's Greg Lake talking about the "In the Court of the Crimson King" album cover:

To pre-order this DVD from Amazon, click here.

I have always been a big fan of the comedy series "The League of Gentlemen" ever since it broke through onto our screens back in the heady days of 1999. There's a new movie coming out called "The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse" and it concerns the characters of Royston Vasey managing to breakthrough into the "real world". I remain optimistic, but it is difficult for TV shows to make the big screen leap. Anyway, here's the brand spanking new trailer:

Stupid internet. So you press all the buttons and you expect domain names to be renewed and updated, but your web provider doesn't actually tell you that your credit card details are your OLD credit card details. They don't warn you that your credit card has expired and so you wake up to find that your website is no longer there. Well it is, it's just no-one can see it because the domains have not been automatically renewed. This is supposed to be an automatic service, but without a credit card warning system in place it is useless. :-(

In the post: The Ultimate Matrix DVD box-set via Amazon at £27. Nice spangly packaging. OK - so some of the films are rubbish but there's enough extra stuff here to keep a sci-fi fan occupied for months. I absolutely love DVD boxsets.

Courtesy of The Missus: the new ELP 2-DVD set. Should be interesting.

Talking of Tortoise, I found this rather snazzy video to one of their tunes from their website:

Well that's my tax return filed and sent off via the good old Internet. I feel exhausted now. Time for a lie down... :-)

In the post: tickets to the Tortoise gig at the RFH.

Today, getting in tune with my accounts. A letter from Mr Taxman reminds me that he wants to know what I am up to, so I begin the yearly slog of figuring out all the numbers. I do it all myself and use the online self-assessment doo-hickey. It's all rather clever. My problem is that I am a number dyslexic, so I have to double, triple, quadruple, quintuple, sextuple, septuble, quadruple check... :-)

Luckily, being a freelance writer and not having any outgoings or materials or staff means that I have a relatively easy time of submitting my tax return. I just tell them how much I've earnt and how much I want deducted as spendables (this doesn't come to much: envelopes, sundries, etc)

Loaf of the Day:

It's a standard white loaf...slightly blurred because my hands were shaking in delight at the wonder of this vision of bread-based loveliness.

My current commission is all about Internet privacy and just how easy it is to find people on the Internet. As part of my research, I managed to find the address of my father (though he might have already moved on). So I got to thinking that if he is so easy to find, then I must be doubly, triply, quadriply easy to find. So I got to thinking that if my half-sister knows where I am, maybe she doesn't get in touch because she doesn't want to? Or maybe I am just thinking aloud too much, eh? Basically, in this day and age, if you have an internet connection, you are pretty easy to find...it's just whether or not anyone wants to find you...

For example, my house looks like this from the air:

The Washington Post is reporting that Father Dougal Maguire of Craggy Island is the outside runner to be the next Pope:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A26353-2005Apr4.html

It could be just what the Vatican needs! ;-)

Yesterday, we travelled to see the new baby. I was a bit apprehensive, but my fears were for nothing. My new strategy is to actively seek out those events that I would naturally avoid. I am trying not to have fear. It's a tough one.

But anyway, we saw the new baby and it was a big baby weighing in at 9lb. A big bonnie baby. :-) The Missus held her for a while and played the doting auntie. I declined. I am too macho and tough to be seen holding babies! (No - I was just scared - whoops, fell at the first hurdle there, Darren).

But the afternoon went very well and gifts were exchanged and stories were told of breaking waters, dilations and umbilical cords. It was good to commune with the family. Being someone from a very small family (and been denied contact with my errant father's side of the family), I am always awkward in this situations. I never know what to do or say and I usually say something that comes out wrong. But luckily, I kept my cool and was cool and everything went well. It was a life-affirming experience.

Today, sunshine and work. In the interest in the new stategy, I am thinking of cutting the grass again. :-)

With regards to the Grand National, my horse finished sixth. Nil Desperandum. Seemed apt and had the form. Luckily, I did a lucky 15 accumulator and two of my other horses romped in (one of them was 100-1 and came third, giving me a decent return) so I didn't lose too much money. The horses backed by The Missus went out at 10-1 and came back at half-past six (old horse joke). She did badly this year, which is strange because normally her idiot savant gambling abilities enables her to pick the Grand National winner. Oh well, better luck next year, eh?

In the post: Sketches of Satie by John & Steve Hackett CD

Noticed that Tortoise were playing the RFH as part of an African music season (go figure) and nabbed some decent tickets last night.

Today, heading out with the Missus to go to Mothercare. Don't fear, gentle reader, the Missus does not have a bun in the oven. We are going to buy a gift for her brother's new baby daughter. That's right, The Missus has become an auntie and I am an uncle. I don't think this is going to have much impact on my life as we don't get along with that side of the family (mainly because they don't like me for being a poor freelance writer - not that I'm bad at my job, that I don't earn enough moolah and do an "honest" days work for them). :-(

This afternoon, gambling on the Grand National. The horses are ready, the potential winners have been picked and my virtual betting slip is filled. Me and The Missus will be hollering for our respective nags. She's won it before, but I am feeling lucky today.

Brrr...it seems that the icy grip of Winter has returned. It's cold and miserable, and so am I. :D

Steve Hackett is playing down the road at the Broadway Theatre in Barking next Saturday so we both decided to see the concert again. It's a night out and the tickets were a lot cheaper. I just hope it doesn't get cancelled.

In the post today:

Anna Gabriel - Growing Up On Tour DVD

It was one of those days yesterday. First off, the problem of the Missus's PC not being able to connect to the wireless network reared its head again. Despite buying a load of new gear, I am beginning to think that this is an issue with Windows ME and that maybe I should upgrade her to XP.

Then some little herbert decided to hack one of my other websites. It wasn't too serious but it meant that my evening was taken up with putting it all back together again.

Another problem I have been having is with my bank, Abbey (or Abbey National as my card and chequebook still calls them). I ran out of cheques and urgently need a new chequebook. I ordered a new chequebook from the ATM machine a fortnight ago but nothing has arrived, so I called their help line to find out what was going on. Unfortunately, Abbey has outsourced to an Indian call-centre and so this makes communication a little difficult. I am pretty good with accents, having been raised in the East End of London and going to school with children from many different ethnic groups, but the woman I was dealing with spoke so fast and had such a strong accent I had to ask her to repeat everything. Then she couldn't understand what I was saying...

So it took me about 10 minutes to get through the security clearing, before she told me that there was a block on my account meaning that I can't have another chequebook. This completely stuffs me and makes my bank account with the Abbey useless. So I ask why? She can't tell me. She says I must go to my local bank to find out. I don't want to do this, I just want a new cheque book and carry on with my business unaffected. I wouldn't mind if the Abbey had sent me a letter or phoned to call about this block, but instead I have been left in the dark and to worry that my chequebook has been stolen in the post. So now I will be withdrawing my money and going elsewhere, partly because the Abbey never warned me about this, partly because of the Indian call centre. I am going to take my cash to the Nationwide Building Society, which has vowed never to outsource their telephone operations.

Then Alex the Wonderdog decided to throw up on the stairs at midnight and I did a bit of a Jack Douglas and spilt the bowl of disinfectant/puke water all over myself.

Moan, moan, moan...will this man ever stop? :-)

Firstly, I am a big fan of Steve Hackett and of all the big progressive rock guitarists, I think it is his influence (by osmosis rather than obsession) that has affected my own guitar playing. While I know his electric stuff really well, I am not as familiar with his acoustic work, despite owning the albums. My problem is that I have a mental block when it comes to pleasant instrumental music - I never remember the titles. The same goes for the Penguin Cafe Orchestra. I know all the albums, but if you ask me to name their songs by rote, I would fail. Strange innit?

Anyway, we were running a little late, but it was a lovely Spring evening, with the rays of the setting sun illuminating the South Bank as we walked briskly to the gig. We literally arrived with seconds to spare before Steve Hackett took the stage to applause. He talked about the evening and how he was going to be his own opening act, playing solo before being accompanied by his brother John on flute and Roger King on keyboard.

I recognised some of the tracks: Bay of Kings, Calvacanti, etc and there were a sprinkling of songs by other people: an interpretation of Classical Gas and Tales from the Riverbank and a piece as a tribute to Segovia. There was also an obligatory outing of "Horizons", which was rearranged for this performance. There were a few issues with tuning and Steve explained how the heat from the audience caused the strings to have a mind of their own, but I didn't hear any major problems. Again, he fluffed a few bits, but I wasn't complaining. I was held spellbound for 50 minutes as his fingers worked the fretboard. This was the first time I had witnessed this kind of music being played this close-up. It made me feel very inadequate as a musician and I realise that I am just a chancer compared to someone of this calibre. I felt like going home and selling my guitars after that session.

When the first half finished, I turned to the Missus to ask for her opinion and I noticed the man sitting next to her was wearing a very peculiar hat. It was a standard baseball cap, but on the top was a stereo microphone...yes, we were sitting next to a bootlegger. So when SH finished his opening and left, this man took his hat off and hid his minidisc recorder. Oppositely, I put my hat on to hide my bald head and headed out to buy some goodies from the merchandise stall. As usual, it was a bit of a scrum but I picked up the new Hackett album "Metamorpheus", John Hackett's "Checking Out of London" album and a DVD "Once Above a Time". Then we returned to the concert.

For the second half, he was joined by his brother John and Roger King. The first track their played together was "Jacuzzi" one of my personal faves from the Defector album. In a stripped down form, it was bright and bubbly and very summery for this Spring evening. They even wheeled out some old Genesis tunes - "After the Ordeal" was performed live, which was a big thrill because I don't think this was ever performed by Genesis in a live context. The highlight for me and the Missus was a sublime performance of "Hands of the Priestess" from the "Voyage of the Acolyte" album. The flute playing was amazing and Roger King's keyboards really complimented the song, and this was sequed into a section of "Hairless Heart" from "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway", which kind of caught me by surprise. The trio also played some Eric Satie numbers including Gnossienne #1, but I felt the energy began to ebb through some of the weirder Satie stuff.

I really enjoyed this concert and it was quite different for me as I am used to rock gigs where the music drives you along. In this context, I think the energy and concentration of the audience drives the music. It was nice to hear some old stuff, some new stuff and some stuff I had never heard before. It was a real challenge and I enjoyed it very much.

But thing is that the man in seat D11 didn't enjoy the gig that much. No he sat for the entire evening with his hat recorder on his head with his face pointed exactly at the PA system, whereas we had to turn 30 degrees to watch the stage. Imagine paying for a ticket and not actually watching the performance...? I couldn't do that!

Well I really enjoyed last night's Doctor Who episodes. It was good escapist fun. My only issue is that this stuff moves a mile a minute and it could have easily had been a two-parter with a little more character development. But hey, that's the nature of TV now. Over on BBC4, I watched some TV from the old school. They did a live performance of "The Quatermass Experiment", an old sci-fi show from the 1950s. The whole thing was live and it was really good, but I noticed how plot development was a lot slower. It made me realise that the way we tell stories on TV is very different now. The slow-winding tension of Quatermass has been reduced to a white knuckle ride courtesy of Doctor Who. Shame that.

Meanwhile, I also saw the second episode of "The Office - An American Workplace". The episode was called "Diversity Day" and you saw Michael Scott (the lead character) being rapped for performing an edgy Chris Rock sketch in the office. I liked it, but I doubt anyone else will. The Michael Scott character is a cross between David Brent, Basil Fawlty and Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm. It is delightfully un-PC, but I doubt it will keep the viewership. It's only enjoyable to those of us who like edgy, "watch-through-your-fingers-with-embarrasment" kind of TV.

Anyway here's a clip. This is Michael Scott being reprimanded for making racist comments in the office.

Meanwhile, the Pope is dead. Thinking of the Pope always reminds me of Newsround in 1978 when we got through three popes in one year. John Craven explained the significance of the different coloured smoke coming from the Vatican and I remember seeing a picture of the white smoke on the cover of the tabloid. Being only seven years old, I must have impressed my folk when I told them what it all meant. I hope the new Pope is more progressive. While the old Pope was a humanitarian, he didn't quite graps the contraception issue, which is a shame when it comes to sexual diseases and stuff. He could have done more. Well, I expect Bono will be made the next Pope...well he should be just so he can't make anymore terrible records. :-)

The really good news is I am off to see Steve Hackett play in London tonight. It is an acoustic gig and while I am a big fan of Hackett, I am woefully ignorant of his acoustic work. Don't get me wrong, I own all the albums and I play them, but I don't study the songs. I know of them, but I don't know their song titles because these are instrumental pieces. I have a mental block with instrumental songs and tend not to remember their titles. It's the same with the Penguin Cafe Orchestra, I know their songs off by heart but would have real trouble naming them. Anyway, not knowing all the song titles for Hackett is going to give me trouble when it comes to writing a review. Maybe, I can wing it. Who knows? :-)