December 2004 Archives

It's the last day of 2004 - hurrah! To say that I cannot wait to see the back of this particular year would be an understatement. It's has been a strange year. A middling year. A year of minor triumphs and staggering defeats. It has been a year of seeing the unseen, it has been a time of seeing how other people perceive you. Sometimes reality has a nasty way of biting you on the arse.

Anyway, forget your troubles and have some free music. If you click this link, you will start to download and play the condensed 28-minute version of my "Textures" album. Enjoy!

Took Alex the Wonderdog to his new vet today. A new strategy is to be adopted to tackle his genetic skin allergy. They might call it "Westie Skin" but I call it an expensive vet's bill.

Talking of dogs, a year or so ago, whilst out walking Alex the Wonderdog, we encountered a man walking two large Alsations. This man lives a few streets away from us and has no control over his dogs. So we are on the other side of the street and the two dogs head over in our direction.

"Tosser, Cunt!" the guy screams. He repeats this until the dogs take notice and return to him.

"I wonder which of us is the tosser and which is the cunt?" I ask The Missus.

"You are the tosser and I am the cunt," she replied and we both had a good laugh about it.

Today, as we returned from the vet, we saw the two dogs being walked again by the green next to our house. A young couple were walking them (we presume that these are relatives of the owner). As we take Alex inside, we can hear the girl shouting "Come here, Tosser." And so we finally discover that "Tosser" and "Cunt" are the names of the two dogs. Jeez, it really is a measure of the mentality of the man, isn't it?

Meanwhile, experts believe that no animals were killed through the recent Tsunami disaster in Asia. They believe that this is proof that animals have an inherent "sixth sense". More here.

Oh well, at least I finally found out what happened to Nathan Lane in The Producers. Sounds painful. Tomorrow, the film "Mousehunt" starring Lane and Lee Evans is on the TV. I like that film a lot.

Not much doing. Bumming around and playing internet poker (and winning a little bit). Went back to the guitar and did some more noodling and got my groove back a bit. Looking forward to doing some more recording soon.

Went to the sales yesterday and tried to pick up a bargain. The item I was looking for was out of stock and so we returned empty-handed. Today, we left the house a little earlier, headed for a different branch of the same store and picked up the bargain - they had 13 of these items in stock. So I am a happy boy playing with my new toy. Hurrah!

Been reading about the terrible disaster in SE Asia. One witness described how he was sitting on the beach watching the sea and he saw the tide just go out really rapidly. The next thing he saw was the huge tidal wave coming. He told how he and his girlfriend ran for cover but got hit but the deluge. Terrifying. What a terrible end to the year.

Merry Xmas casual browser!

Today, I received the following gifts from The Missus.

CDs
The Rutles - S/T
Neil Innes - Taking Off/Innes Book of Records
Robert Wyatt - Greatest Misses
Rothko - Not Gone, Not Forgotten
Anthony Phillips - Soundscapes

DVD
Van der Graaf Generator - Godbluff Live
Monkey Dust - Series One

Books
Nick Mason - Inside Out

From my mother, I received a bread maker, which has to be one of THE best gifts I have ever received from her. I am currently having fun trying to make bread. Normally, I do it the old fashioned way, but the machine is quite hypnotic when it starts to mix and knead the dough automatically.

I hope you all got what you wanted for Christmas.

Yesterday, we both went to the theatre. We headed to Theatre Royal, Drury Lane to catch the Producers. It was a shame that Nathan Lane was "indisposed" but the show was still very good. Cory English, the understudy for Mr Lane, acquitted himself perfectly and was very good in the role of Max Bialystock. We both enjoyed the show very much and I wept with laughter throughout.

Then we headed to the Theatre Royal, Stratford for our annual Xmas Eve panto performance. This year it was "Sleeping Beauty". My God, this was the WORST pantomime the Theatre Royal had put on in about 10 years. The script was poor, the jokes non-existant and the music numbers weak. Last year's "Little Red Riding Hood" was a masterpiece in comparison. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

"Merry Xmas, Mr Lock," says the Inland Revenue, "Here's your present from us...a nice tax demand to be paid by 31 January 2005".

Bah, humbug!

Yesterday, I had the misfortune to witness the worst Christmas dinner ever served. As a treat, we took the Missus's grandmother out for Christmas lunch at our local. I had the sense to refrain from the seasonal menu as I had already turkey last week. The food was luke-warm, the vegetable raw and the parsnips incinerated.

"Maybe they will redeem themselves with the dessert," suggested I.

The Christmas pudding was then served COLD, rock-hard and with a miserly dollop of piss-weak, luke-warm custard. I took one mouthful and pushed my bowl away. The rest of the party followed suite. The serving staff must have heard our loud remonstrations as they promptly disappeared from view. We wanted to air our greivances as we left, but - surprise, surprise - all the staff were AWOL. So if you want a REALLY FUCKING AWFUL Christmas dinner, pay a visit to the Plume of Feathers pub in Loughton. They are charging something like £50 for that uncooked slop on 25 December, so be sure to book ahead.

Now it looks as if I will need to find a new local! :-(

Someone's trying to make a monkey out of him!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/4117059.stm

Or you could just: Build a Better Bush

That's enough of the ol' politics. I am sure that old Dubya is a nice guy, really. He just hangs around with the wrong sort of people - the real people who run the US!

Managed to flog another copy of my 4-CD boxset "Sows' Ears & Silk Purses". The strange thing is the guy that bought this copy already got a copy in the summer. I'm thinking that maybe he wore out his original copy of this masterpiece. Either that or he's found the ideal Xmas present for someone he really doesn't like! :-)

Today is the shortest day...so I guess this should be the shortest diary entry...

I'm selling some of my music collection.

Click here for my auctions.

It's Xmas, so bid generously, folks!

Got sent this link. How comes Jesus doesn't stand over the Freelance Writer? No - he's got plenty of time for the golfer, the french horn player and the sodding clown, but no time for the likes of me. I guess that's because all us freelancers sold our soul to the devil, right? ;-)

Yesterday I got the chance to accompany The Missus and her office chums on their annual Xmas lunch. We waited over an hour for our food to arrive and when the main course did turn up it was a little cold. Being British, we didn't complain - we just ordered more wine. Afterwards, while chatting at the bar, The Missus came over a little unwell. I instructed her to go outside for some fresh air. This she did, and then promptly passed out! Unfortunately, I wasn't there to catch her and she was rescued by some members of the restaurant staff. I felt really bad because I didn't even know what was happening until she had recovered and returned. How embarrassing!

In the post I received a copy of the video "Tales from the Widow Jane Mine" which is about the making of the CD "From the Caves of the Iron Mountain", a record that was recorded live in an abandoned mine. It is one of my personal favourite records and the video was really interesting. Here's a clip for your perusal:

If you like this, check out the video and CD from www.tonylevin.com.

You turn one corner only to find another...

So anyway, I didn't know that Brian Eno had an album called "Textures". They say it is rare and it trades for up to £100. Wow. Alternatively, you could buy my CD called "Textures" for $10 (£6). Hustle, hustle... :-)

This news story completely put me off going to the dentist. Rotten teeth or bleed to death? You decide.

Never heard of nor seen a blue Robin before. The full story is here.

Yesterday, I put up the Xmas tree and decorative lights in the window. When getting the box of decorations down from the cupboard, a chill went through me. Was it really a year ago since I did this? Where did the time go? It's funny how the small things remind you of your mortality.

Korg released a BIOS update for my Triton LE keyboard and I made the update. Then spent some time just noodling around on the keys. Realised I was enjoying this more than I do when I noodle around on the guitar these days.

I received a copy of the new Lemon Jelly DVD single in the post on Saturday. Lemon Jelly are one of my favourite bands at the moment. They take samples from all over the shop to create hypnotic music that has a genuine innocence - something quite rare these days. They have a new album out in January and if you clink the following links, you can watch their new video "Stay With You" or have a quick preview of their '64-'95 DVD release.

Who said that you can't have humour in music? One of the best spoof bands around is Goldie Lookin' Chain and I just think whoever is the brains behind this outfit is god. If you like Spinal Tap or The Rutles and understand what a chav is, then these guys are worth checking out. Here's a link to their latest video (Americans need not to investigate futher because you WILL NOT understand any of the cultural references).

Visit their site at:

http://www.youknowsit.co.uk/

Welcome to this website and more confessional, self-obsessed bullshit chronicling the minutiae of my everyday life for you to read while you drink your Starbuck's coffee and try to decide what pirated music to upload on to your customised iPod.

Cynical, moi? You betcha!

Wreckless Eric opened the proceedings and wasn't too happy about the sound. Neither was I. The Bloomsbury gets my vote for worst concert sound...ever. Using an acoustic guitar, there were so many rogue frequencies bouncing around the place, I could barely follow his lyrics. And this is a great shame because Wreckless Eric is noted for his lyrical content. At 50 years old, this guy still tries to push the punk ethic and belted out numbers from this new album Bungalow Hi.

Despite the sound problems, Eric settled into his stride after about the third song and things began to come together nicely. While not being the most technically proficient guitarist around, he attacks his instrument with such honest, brutal, vim and vigour that you have to give a nod of respect. After one particularly brutal song, he was left with only two strings left on his guitar. Rock 'n' roll man!

I am not that familiar with his work, but I shall be investigating further. He also gets my award for "Use of Anglo-Saxon" by using the word cunt in an introduction.

After this belting opening 45 minutes, I already felt exhausted, so we feasted on strawberry ice-cream during the intermission (go on, crack you albatross gags now) - it was that kind of venue.

So then The Rutles appear on stage an immediately open with Goose Step Mama. The sound was still terrible and I could barely hear the vocals. Even the drums were buried in the mix of guitar and keyboards. Despite this, I got behind the music and we lent our vocal talents to the proceedings. Songs from both "The Rutles" and "Archeaology" albums were played. I've devised a songlist (in the wrong order, of course) to demonstrate just how much music was performed.

Goose Step Mama
Number One
Hold My Hand
I Must Be In Love
With a Girl Like You
Living in Hope
Ouch
It's Looking Good
Doubleback Alley
Good Times Roll
Piggy in the Middle
Cheese & Onions
Get Up and Go
Let's Be Natural
Major Happy's Up-and-Coming Good Time Band
Rendezvous
Questionnaire
Lonely-Phobia
Hey Mister!
Easy Listening
Eine Kleine Middle Klasse Musik
Joe Public
Shangri-La
Back in 64

So this was 90 minutes of Beatle-inspired musical parody and I loved every minute of it. I especially wanted to see/hear the great Barry Wom/Jon Halsey banging the skins, but my view was slightly obscured by the keyboard player. Not to worry, The Admiral Jon Halsey came to the front of the stage to perform one of the greatest paper-tearing solos I had ever seen (in fact it was the only time I had ever seen someone tear a newspaper to music and make it a solo...it made me laugh a lot).

It was a great evening of music (despite the sound and the butt-achingly bad seating) and well worth it. It makes you appreciate the phenomenal talent of Neil Innes and his fellow musicians for pulling this all together. Even better than the Beatles, I say, and better than the Beatles parodies that bands like Oasis or even Adrian Belew commit to record.

Where did the year go? Was that the sound of the days whizzing past? Oh well, it's Neil Innes and the Rutles tonight. Should be fun!

The Xmas lights are already springing up around my locale. It gets earlier every year (the same way that policemen are getting younger and fatter). Do I feel festive? Nope...not yet. Do you?

Remember to tune into http://www.radiofrontiers.com/ at 10pm Eastern Time.